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I'm Suicidal, But Scared Of It

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I have been feeling depressed since I first started dating my boyfriend of more than a year, because my parents and my boyfriend clash.

I don't know if I am being eccentric, but I just feel sad most of the time. I cry at least once a day and sometimes I think of suicide, but I'm too scared to do it.

I've tried counselling, but it was too far away to keep going to, though I do want help.

I'm not sure if I'm being silly or if it is real. Please help.

Thank you.