How to stop feeling like a low life?

As of today, I’m fat, depressed, friendless, and not suicidal but near there. It seems as if everywhere I look, esp. @school, everyone’s happy and skinny, and far more perfect than me. It’s like other people are T-Bone steaks and I’m just a can of Spam. I don’t have any friends, so today in English class, I wondered why. It’s because I’m fat. Around here where I live, you’re not allowed to be fat. In order to be accepted you HAVE to be skinny. I’m currently on a diet and I go to the gym 5 times a week, I’m losing weight, but I feel I’m not losing fast enough and I’m not losing enough. (I’ve heard people talking and they haven’t been saying good things). I feel like I have to conform to what society expects me to be: either be fat and shut up, don’t talk and seem like a lazy slob (I do this now…even though I’m total opposite) or be skinny and be free. I want to be skinny and free, so that I can be myself. I can’t be myself the way I am now, I keep things in and to myself. Yes, I’ve thought about the whole not eating thing, but I’m a compulsive eater, and yes I have thought about the whole throw up after you eat thing, but I love my teeth way WAY too much! Basically, how can I stop feeling like this? I’d have to deal with it myself since I have no friends at all. People are just too ignorant to talk to me, if they did, they’d love me as I’m a very caring person. How can I lose weight faster and I mean faster, I need my life normal or I will literally just die. I guess you could say this is a cry for help.