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How does God choose?

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There have been a few times when I asked God to take my life when I had pain in the past, and he never did it. I first asked him to take it away, but it would only get worse and I didn't know what else to do because I was not about to kill myself. Why wouldn't he do it? And why would he have go through the pain that I did, and be merciless?? I don't understand. If God is supposed to be so good, why would I be let to go through that, even after I asked him to stop it?