Home More advice Parents & Family
My mom has told me all of my life that my dad was an east indian/asian guy from singapore. I am realizing that I really just look like her people tell me I look like I have some black in me even though I have asian eyes and straight hair. I want to tell her but I don't know how to? Could anyone tell me how if I should or shouldn't tell her and if I should how should I go about it? now what would you do in my situation?
You should sit down and tell her you want to have an honest conversation. Start off by telling her she's you mom and that sound recent information has you concerned. You would like to talk about it and you would really appreciate the truth.
Bring it up may cause her to take the offensive, but you need to stay calm in order to keep her calm in you want the answer you are looking for.
Explain to her what has been brought to your attention and exactly how you feel about the situatioin. Let her know that you are old enough to know and deal with whatever, you have a right to know your heritage, if it's true. Give her time to take it all in and see where it goes and watch her reaction while all this is going down. If you want for feel the need to ask her questions.
Just be prepared though if she's been keeping this from all this time, she might not be so willing to just open up. With the internet and different services you maybe able to piece things together. However, I would give your mom a chance first and see what happens. It's simple one step at a time along with reasoning. Go for it.
It's not as big a deal as you might think. This happened in your mom's past and she'll be a little surprised. It's like having an old memory that was slightly embarrassing. It's not the end of the world. If your mom is racist against black people that could be a problem. Be straightforward with your questions and be nice. If she gets mad, no matter what, stay calm. Apologize if you think it will make her calm down- if she gets worked up. Lastly just make sure to jump in and go for it. Your mom won't be mad at you forever. The worst that could happen is that it will be an awkward conversation.
well I mean if its that serious to you then ask her but at the same time you may offend her as if she doesnt know who she slept wit. so just be careful how you word it. and you are probably mixed because of your hair and eyes. your mom just may have stronger genes and that may be why you look more like her people.
