Do you feel an adult (over 18) couple should be married before or if they have children?

Well, thinking of the baby, to me I think the couple should know that they are going to be together and both are going to care for the baby together before having the baby. Not necessarily married… I mean it sounds like you guys ARE married already. But then in a lot of cases, the couple don’t really know for sure until they are married

No i dont. You shouldnt have to be married to have kids & it defiantly doesnt make you irresponsible. Some people dont know what they are getting into with marriage, so i would much rather them test it out & not feel like they HAVE to be married for the kids.

Depends on what they want to do marriage is about being together if they love each other then there still together so it dosent really matter if they get married or not and marriage you have to pay to. Get married you shouldent have to pay money to the state to show you love someone.

i think that if youre gonna have kids, your should be married. most of that is my religious background, but i think it makes it easier for the kids as well. i dont think in your situation its really “irresponsible”, just different to a lot of people. but my personal opinion is that a couple should date and then get married. i believe in relationships for the long run, and that includes getting married :P so i think that an adult couple should be married before they have any kids :)

Your situation seems fine, if you really think it’s stable. If your kids are unaffected by the difference, then it shouldn’t matter. The only thing I think with people unmarried and having kids is…well, if you feel committed enough to have children, why not committed enough to get married? I can understand happy accidents, and I also know how many marriages in the United States don’t work out, regardless of children. So you know what? Whatever works for you, works for you.

P.s - for those that are curious. We are engaged and plan on getting married, we had a date set for March 11th of next year but then we found out we were expecting our second child on March 6th. I dont want to get married while pregnant, so we pushed the date again. Ive just been getting frustrated with people pushing us to get married now because they think its irresponsible and wrong for us not to be married.

Alright, now that I don’t agree with. Deciding to “test out” a relationship with a couple of kids is just idiotic. That’s like checking to see if a guy’s crazy by punching him in the face.

no. I mean, I personally want to be married before I have children, but if you are in a stable relationship there is nothing wrong with having children. I dont think there is anything wrong with people who are not in relationships to have children, as long as they have the time and resources to raise them in a environment they need. Its not even like marriage is any guarantee of a lasting relationship. My parents were married when I was born, but four years later, that wasnt the case. Its horrible that people have called you irresponsible, when you are basically married in every way aside from signing a piece of paper. I hate how judgemental people are.

my aunt and uncle have been together for like over 19 years. they have two children ( 17 & 10), they arnt married. so no i dont think its “irresponsible”

Ignore them. You are in a stable relationship, who cares if you are not legally married at the moment.

I’d want to be married to have children, but I think as long as the both of you are commited in the long run, it is fine.

Basically the only thing that will change for you guys once you get married is your last name.

I feel that it is important to actually be married, there is more bondage between you and him. But what do i know. im just a 13-year-old christian.

I don’t think it’s irresponsible for someone to have children prior to getting married. If the child(ren) would be provided for in all necessary means, that’s all that matters.

I personally would like to be married before having children, but this would be a personal choice more than anything.

I don’t see anything wrong with not being married and having children. Some people never marry and they stay together for years and have happy children. Other people marry because of the children and end up making everyone unhappy.

Marriage is a commitment between two people in my opinion and nothing more. I believe people can commit without signing a contract.

I don’t see anything wrong with not being married and having children, Like moe said the only thing changing would be your last name. Why does a legal document have to be present to prove your together and love eachother?

i keep getting bashed for being pregnant and not even going out with my baby’s daddy currently (we were going out before) and not planning on getting married cuz i feel like a piece of paper and a ring…thats all. i hate that people put me down because of it. its my life, not theirs. so anyway i dont think your irrasponsible

It’s stupid that people are pushing you. I mean you are OBVIOUSLY already committed. You should tell them to bugger off. literally.

Absolutely not. Being married before having children is a religious factor - the government doesn’t require that you be married first, only religion does. As an atheist, you should have the right to have children without holy sanctification of your relationship.

I personally feel people need to mind their own business and stop telling you how to live yours. I suppose these same people are against divorce? Because marriage does not guarantee any form of commitment. So what difference does it make whether you’re married or not.

Are you happy with your other half as things are for now? Is your family happy? If yes then don’t worry about what fairly ignorant people are saying. It is your life, your family, live it how you want it.

In my opinion it seems that you have it right. x

Well marrage is just a peice of paper that says your stuck with this person for the rest of your life so i would say no.

I think that if two people are ready for the responsibility of a child then it doesn’t matter what people think. If you’re ready to settle down and have kids the by all means do it! As long as you can make the commitment and can support that child mentally, emotionally, financially, and physically, who cares what anybody has to say. It’s your life not theirs.

i believe that if u 2 r really in love go a head. to be sure use protection 4 a while until u are apsolutely sure u want to have kids. or wait til 20. but if u guys really want to make sure tat both of u hav a stable job and is out of school or has graduated from high school or college. but otherwise knock urselves out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i feel exactly the same! but no i dont really have a problem with people who aren’t but in some cases it feels more stable

Do u really think that your kids, if u have them, will wanna hear “I had u and then ot married.” Its not going to be a good impression. But sure, do whatever.

what do you mean, what until she is 20? She is 25, in a stable relationship with a child and another on the way…

sorry, almost 25

My parents had me, and then got married a year later. I am even in their wedding pictures. I am 17 years old now, and they have never been separated at all. It didn’t affect me in anyway. So, I disagree with your post.

lol :P

its like my mom said,marriage changes nothing apart from your last name,if your in a stable house with a loving partner and a loving family around you then i think you can bring up a child without being married. marriage doesnt make your love stronger only the two people in love make there love stronger and let a child grow up knowing the parents love each other and him/her

You know what would be worse for a kid to hear? Mommy and daddy got married because of you and not because they love each other. You can be committed without being married.

You’re kidding me right? Lol. Please READ her profile information next time or ask how old she is. Assuming isn’t very clever.

I agree with nochniysvet, that is just idiotic, test a relationship with kids?? and what if it doesn’t work out?? are you going to return the kids??

you are not “stuck” with someone for the rest of your life if you get married, it IS called a divorce..

If you want to, go for it. If not, why fret about it? Just don’t worry about it. It’s your life, do what you want to do.