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How to cope with this depression?

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I have depression, I see a therapist, and I take medication for it. I've actually even gone to school for psychology, So I should know how to help myself better, but I guess when the situation is your own, its entirely different.
I dont know what to do anymore. everyday I feel worse and worse and I cry more and more. Every aspect of my life is falling apart and no matter how hard I try I cant seem to get it together. I went to my therapist today, but often times I leave feeling worse then when I went.
I just wrote to an online suicide prevention site through samaritins, because I honestly feel everyday that the pain is getting greater then I can take and while Id like to say that Im strong enough to not make a choice like that, I have to say that I've never felt so terrible in my life. I've never felt like I want to escape it all and run away so much...I've never felt so disconnected. I dont want to go to a psych hospital. Im not crazy Im just terribably sad, but Im afraid that if I tell my doctor that I even think of suicide or if I call a hotline ill be sent away to some inpatient clinic...
I just want to talk to someone, to try and make sense of it all.
What can I do?