Help me out here, I've been seeing this girl for quite a while now. I never wanted to take on a girlfriend because I just didn't feel I was ready for one and couldn't find one I would actually want to settle down with (so to speak)... so I've been seeing a whole bunch of girls going back and forth and just having a good time (before you paint me as a p*ick I always let every girl I see know that I'm not looking for a relationship and the choice is theirs whether they want to continue seeing each other and fooling around under that pretext) Now here's the kicker I actually fell in love with one of them and I've only been seeing her for the last 3 months told the others i was seeing someone and that was that. I was just about to ask her out when we were discussing our sexual history... BAD IDEA... the girl is practically a virgin she's only been with 2 other guys before me 1 was her ex boyfriend and the other was a douche-bag I know, can't stand, and still see from time to time... she had a one night stand with this UGLY little loser and she said it was the worst 8 minutes of her life and that he made high pitched moaning noises and wishes it never happened... But my heart just kinda broke right on the spot... I didn't make it weird and make her feel like she did something wrong I just laughed it off, Because in all honesty we were only seeing each other as friends when that happened and she did nothing wrong but... I can't get it out of head! when I think of it I feel sick... knowing this ugly little bastard has been inside of her before me is far to much for this man to handle... I'm a naturally competitive and proud person, and love showing a girl off to friends and displaying to the world that she's mine! try and take her from me!!... knowing that he's already had her as a "one night stand, another notch in my bedpost" kinda thing is killing me... and i know I'm going to see this guy (he's close friends with one of my close friends) and if me and her are "together" I'm going to start a fight with him no doubt... this isn't healthy! The weird thing is I usually don't care about a girls sexual history cause I'm not insecure that way... And I can't throw stones because I've been with faaaaarrr more sexual flings than she has... If she told me she had a one night stand with someone i didn't know I swear to god she'd be my girl already... But I Can't get over it... knowing this bastard beat me to it is killing me... So I guess my question is if you were in my situation would you be reacting the same way? or am I allowing foolish pride to get in the way?? If it bothers me now won't it always bother me? and has anyone been In a situation similar to mine? Help lol.... I'm beginning to question my sanity over this...
Not sure how one can fall in love with someone in three months but then again, everyone's heart is different. I think if you have having issue with this girl and the guy she slept with, your relationship with her isn't going to blossom as whom she slept with is going to keep eating at you and this will put a massive strain on your relationship. I certainly do not think you are a pr*ck, everyone has the own standards and I'm with you on this one. If someone could lower themselves to slept with a "loser", regardless if it is a one night stand or not, I would think their taste and esteem is rubbish. People will say to you, a person's past is the past, but they fail to realise, some past cannot be accepted or erased, even if you love that person, their past will always be there to haunt you. I suggest if you really really love this girl, give her a chance and date her but I can guarantee you, how you feel about her shagging this "ugly loser" will not go away unless you allow it. Relationship is hard work as it is, why let an issue that is going to be an issue complicate the relationship more, better to find another person with less of a sl-uttish past... Saves yourself the heartache.
If I was just fooling around with this girl and we were just friends, this wouldn't bother me in the slightest. It's taking on an actual relationship with this girl knowing this guy has had her as a one night stand that's really bothering me...You know snickering to all of our mutual friends about how he "had" her last night and wont be calling her high fiveing each-other... It kills me... And if i cant get over it i sincerely do hope she finds someone to make her happy (she truly is an amazing girl) and as I stated above I don't fault her for it, we all make mistakes... It's just that her particular mistake hits to close to home.... Thank you for you uuumm judgment? I guess.
You're kind of a pr!ck. You're only irritated because a d-bag you know got to sleep with her before you did and now you want nothing to do with her. GIrls are NOT competition to see who can sleep with her first. And that's really lame that you're thinking of not seeing her anymore because of a mistake she made with another guy. I'm sure you've slept with girls that she dislikes, but it's not like she's competing with them to see who can sleep with you first. If you really "love" this girl, then you will get over it. If not, then I hope she finds someone who doesn't just want to get in her pants for competition.
If you really care about her and love her why let this get in the way? Yeah he might have got her first but at least you weren’t the mistake. That one night stand doesn’t define her as who she is. I could understand being hurt and annoyed / pissed. No matter who the person is you will always find something you don’t like about them or something they did. I think it is always best to put the past behind us and just move on. You should give it a chance rather looking back full of regrets.
Well I will honestly say I didn't read the whole thing. The thing is if you love her then whom she has been with shouldn't matter wheather you liked them or not. It will never leave your head that she was with him, so if you can't deal with that then maybe you had bettter find someone else. If I were you it wouldn't matter to me if they slept with someone I liked or disliked. Find a way to deal with it, I know I would, that is if I truely cared for them. Good luck to ya
I think ill take your advice and date her to see how it goes. I mean if I can't get over it then we'll just have to remain friends. and if I can get over it (which I'm going to work so that I can) then it'll work out. Thanks for your advice I really appreciate it.
Very well said, thank you! :)
Your welcome :)