How can I convince my dad that his 30 year friendship with his friends mean nothing to his friends?

If he hasnt dealt with it by now, nothing you say is going to convince him. Leave him alone. Look at it this way, he is obviously getting something out of the relationship. Whether you approve or not, the benefits outweigh the costs to him. Unless he is in some way mentally handicapped or suffering from some sort of dementia, he’s an adult and capable of making his own decisions. You trying to fix his life isnt going to get you very far. He’s probably not stupid. Deep down he gets it. He is either choosing to ignore it or he’s decided that what they give him is better than not having friends at all. The only thing you can try to do is to get him involved with other people and other activities. But again, he’s an adult, and you can only do so much.

I agree…but taking a step back & looking at this from a reg person’s view other then a daughter’s point of view…i seriously try to prove to him time & time again(which has never worked in the past…) has yet failed once again to make him stop askin for their advice, or input on certain issues…they constantly let him down & make him feel like crap! He really doesnt need the stress & is the type of person that holds grudges & really keeps dwelling on things he really doesnt need to be focused on. (73 with congestive heart failure…i mean seriously, its the last thing he needs…more stress) I just dont know how to say it anymore where it will seem ok, and not bluntly say look dad, these friends of yours are aholes and have been for 30 years(he already knows that & can admit to that yet sugar coats it up saying i know their game, i will handle it…just this friday night it happened again!) I so feel for him & hate how they manipulate him & make him feel like sh!t…if it were up to me & i would completely give them a piece of my mind…but of course my dad wont give me the pleasure of doing that…:P

Anything you can think of…because i am at a point where i really cant stand them or be around them but have to put up with them for his sake…because he always wants me by his side…and I just cant say no ti him(just love him so much & respect him so much!) Got to see them this wednesday dad’s 73rd b-day! So not looking fwd to this night

I know…you are so right sweetie…i know he knows it too…that is what is killin me…he has been knowing it…i guess i just have to put on a happy cheery face this Wednesday for his sake…as i always do! :)

Yes. But you’re taking this on personally. My mother has people like this in her life. I’ve tried to talk to her. It gets me no where. So I let it go. She’s an adult and I cant fight her battles for her. Try to let it go. It’s not your decision and it is not within your control. There are certain things you have to realize that are beyond your control and let go. If you stop feeling sorry for your dad, you wont have to fake being happy (which is emotionally exhausting). You can just realize that your dad has accepted who they are and he’s ok with that. And that’s the end of it.