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This is the hardest thing a family has to deal with, no words can comfort no words can bring that child back. Your brother needs to be able to grieve...that means the whole shenanigans. All the emotions...it comes in steps..."DABDA" it begins with Denial...then moves on to Anger...then moves on to Bargaining...Then moves on to Depression...to finally moving on to Acceptance. Some say its a form of "NDR" Numbness, Disorganization & Reorganization. I think we all grieve differently but sometimes tend to stay in one state of mind for too long & find it difficult if not impossible to break free from it. That is when we need a bit of help! Help that our loved ones just cant provide. A group that has been through the same sort of trauma's in all sorts of different ways can help...sessions with a professional can help... Learning how to deal with the symptoms is what is the most crucial. Why? Because we all need to deal with painful thoughts & memories. Some are just harder to cope with! In this case it is the loss of a baby...I cant even begin to imagine the pain this family is going through I know I had a long cry.
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My best advice is offer all the support you can & what ever you do do not leave him alone...yes allow him to grieve...take turns on whom is there watching over him...and dont be surprised if he gets mad, starts shouting to leave him alone or says stuff like you dont know how it feels to loose a baby sis...you have 2 of your own safe & sound...mark my words...he may just say that at some point. Remember, he is grieving & a lot sh!t will be coming out of his mouth, stuff you never believed would...dont get offended by it...it's his grieving process & he will lash out at anyone once the denial has worn off. :(
Hope this helps.
Just your presence & BEING there for him. Tell him you're always there to talk. Let him cry on your shoulder if he needs to. Hug him often. Give him the space when he wants to be alone. Then I would try & get his mind off of his son's death by doing something fun, like hiking, bowling, the beach, an amusement park, etc. I would also help him out anyway you can, even if it's financially, emotionally, mentally. I know this is what I would want if someone close to me died.
Just be there for him cause the way I see it once a man has lost his son there is nothing else that you can take from him, he would be having a rough time be a shoulder for him to cry on. remind him of the good times he would have had with him don't let him bottle it up cause he might do something he regrets.
It's a tough situation to be in isn't it? no matter what you say you always wonder could you say more? could you do more? it's tough, just be there for him, talk with him, support him
