Are parents still in touch with their families?

If we could actually make professional counselors step in and interfere, wouldn’t it be more efficient to control everyone’s every move? If I had it my way, I wouldn’t let a career-oriented couple have kids. At least one parent has to stay home until their kid is (at least) sixteen. As it is, kids are running around and getting pregnant, producing even more kids who will run around and get pregnant as before they know anything about being good parents.

I agree that the solution - as unrealistic as it is - would be for neighbors to help each other out. My parents were never around when I was a kid, and if I turn out fine it’s because I lived in a really nice and cooperative neighborhood.

These days, however, people just don’t trust each other what with all the news about kidnappers, pedophiles, child rapists, etc. etc. And of course: “Every killer has to live next door to someone.” So in the end we can blame the media for sensationalizing these things, of course. Yay!

Dear Tibetan81,

I think you’ve asked a very profound question that can not simply be answered by yes or no. Society and societal dysfunctions have to be seen as a whole. It’s true that a lot of parents can not spend as much time at home with their children as they wish or maybe even should. It is also true that many people tend to concentrate on work more then their families. I think this leads to other questions like why is this so? what are peoples true intentions? I tend to think that people work hard for mainly two reasons: survival and a better life for their families.

In other words, most people can not afford to stay at home and most are also tired from working long days in order to put food on the table. If someone concentrates on their career it’s in hopes of securing a better job or raise in salary. It’s not that they ignore their family roles or do not wish to be better parents. Personally, I feel that we live in an overall system that does not promote values like being a good mother (ex.: taking the day off work to tend to your sick child) or a good father (ex.: getting 6 months paternity leave when you have a new baby). And to go against the flow, is not only challenging psychologically but financially.

Since our societies are complex and ever growing in size, I think we need to help each other out and not only encourage “watchdogs” like social workers and professional counselors to help us deal with our children’s problems and our problems, but ultimately to also recognize that until we make some profound changes in the way we live as a society (and even as a planet)institutions and others (ex.: teachers) have no choice but to fill the gap left by overworked parents.

That’s my two cents.

Good luck!

Zor

To me the big problem is that it takes two paychecks to pay the bills these days. When I was a kid most moms stayed at home. Since I was born wages have increased 4 times but the cost of living has increased 6 times. It takes 1.5 paychecks to buy what 1 paycheck used to. If both parents work child care eats up a lot of the 2nd paycheck so both parents end up having to work full time to manage as well as 1 paycheck used to.

I believe that we are seeing the result of a generation of latch-key kids with far too much unsupervised time on their hands.