What can do i do make my fiance realize im not a light switch - read for more details?

Well talking to him about it helps. I’ve been there before. It is difficult to keep up the romance when you have kids. Alot of guys don’t realize how important romance is. Our mind set is usually i’m attracted to you. It doesn’t take a whole lot. But if you haven’t brought it up, then, in a calm manner. You should really explain why you’re not in the mood. We sometimes feel like we aren’t attractive anymore, and that will bother a guy. Like I said been there done that. But we had three children all boys which made it pretty difficult.

Your beau should understand that there is more to sex than coitus. The kissing, hugging, caressing, afterplay are all part of the deal. If all he wants is the wham bam thank you ma’am than what he wants is a quickie. Not that there is anything wrong with quickies when that is what you are both in the mood for. It sounds like you need to teach your guy how to please you. Us guys are sometimes clueless about things but we are usually trainable.

He also has to consider that since you are pregnant you may not have the energy you otherwise would. I know my wife slept 12+ hours/day when we were pregnant so romance had to be started earlier than usual.

The only way to communicate needs is with talk. Don’t bring it up at the time it’s happening, wait till a quiet time in the day or evening, when sex isn’t imminent. You can gentle and to the point at the same time…”Honey, the best foreplay for me is 30 minutes of conversation”…..Men ARE light switches, so it’s hard for them to get it….but most are willing to work at it a little….

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The best thing to do is just talk, explain to him that you can’t be in the mood just like that. Tell him you would really like it if he could cuddle with you, kiss you, nibble on your neck, tickle you, whisper in your ear, and caress you while just relaxing, BEFORE he asks if you want to have sex. Tell him you need him to get you in the mood, turn you on. =]

i agree…my ex couldnt pleasure me no matter what I told him til it just p!ssed me off we would both get frustrated & that was done….so much for me trying to constantly be spontaneous & try but his damn computer was always more important…”ugh, cant you see i am busy i have to raid in 20 mins…oh I cant i am in the middle of a battleground!!! like ugh is a damn game that you have been on for hours more important then spending some quality time with your significant other especially after not seeing them all day!(I guess not!) Then a few hours later they come to you & they wonder why when they are ready we come up with some lame excuse like i am tired…my head hurts…right back at you dear!

Aha (: WOW! i have heard those words SOO many times. I’m assuming there from WOW. world of warcraft. Its insane how men are more interested in a game then they are in women… somethings just not right, its really upsetting to loose to a game..

It sounds like your guy hasn’t experienced the true pleasures of romantic foreplay. He also may not be all that creative. The best thing you can do is start teaching him the benefits by talking to him about how intense it could be for him to just take his time rather then get busy and get done. Then show him by giving him the time of his life, slowly…make it last hours. After a few sessions like that he’ll start to understand. You could also help him with some ideas for romance and fun too. Pick up the book “1001 SEXCAPADES to do if you DARE” to help give him some ideas.

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Buy him a book. He might not understand the fundamental differences between men and woman. It took me a long time to understand that woman are more about the journey.

he should know that your not in the mood for that or not ready again to do it… talk to him about it and if he doesnt understand here is wat i tell all the girlss “strap his arms and legs to the ends of your bed or tie his arms and lets to each end of the bed and kick his balls.. but i know sum people dont wanna do that so just talk to him.(: hope i helped lol

yeah it is…especially when you have invested almost a decade trying to help them become who they are! But users are users, who never appreciate even the finest things life has to offer them…when you pick a computer game as your active daily life rather then a social life you have to really question that persons way of thinking. I tried to change that…show another aide to the world & i guess that wasnt good enough…to be honest here, no matter you do with a person like that, there is no way of competing…so as they say…continue interacting with your game…loose your marriage, loose your ability to function..loose everything you spent the last decade building…who cares! Glad that is over with…not my problem anymore!

I have two sides to this answer.

One is that you explain to him what you just explained to us. Foreplay is a must, this is old information the whole world has caught onto and he should get with that program. You may want to say it nicer, though :).

Second, we ladies, when we’re young, often don’t initiate sex that much and men need that from us. It makes them feel admired and wanted and that makes them very interested in returning the favor. A good way to get him to do what you want is to lead by example. Pick a day when you both have time, and get yourself mentally prepared to have sex. Start thinking about it, imagining it. Basically, you get yourself warmed up and then approach him with a sly flirty smile and lead him to the bedroom and begin doing to him whatever it is he enjoys doing other than insertion. Enjoy what you’re doing, and use it as a tool to keep your juices flowing. Play it out, slow him down.

Do that a few times to him and he’ll get the picture. If he doesn’t, then it sounds like you have a man you need to really work with. You can do it though! Sometimes all a man like him needs is a good and loving woman to show him what intimacy, foreplay and making love is!

I had this really eloquent long answer all typed out and I hit enter and it just never has posted. But I did want to answer this…

Take the lead with your boyfriend a bit more. Pick a day when you guys have time, and get mentally prepared for it all day. Think about the things that get you excited and stew in it for awhile. And then, when you’re ready give him a flirty look or smile and lead him into the bedroom. Play it out, don’t move too fast and to all the foreplay you want. Don’t let it lead to sex too quickly.

Initiate sex more often because often when we initiate it, the sex is more passionate, with more foreplay the way you want/need it. And often, that paves the way for him to understand your needs.

And the next time he tells you he wants to go have sex now, just say “why don’t you earn it first?” and then ask him to do something for you that you like that gets you in the mood.

Take the reigns. Don’t wait for him to make it right. Lead by example!

:)

And now that previous answer I had written shows up…oh well, I’ll leave them both posted!