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Why is ignoring your hateful 13 year old not your best choice?

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My 13 year old daughter claims she feels no love for her family so we started seeing a family counselor to find out why. Turns out that for years she has felt verbally and sometimes even physically abused by her father when they horseplay around. I know her dad gets mad when she 'hits below the belt" but I had no idea she felt so helpless and angry. It's hard to love people you don't trust and since I didn't step in and stop this activity she feels I let her down. Any time her Dad "pulled rank" on her and tried to switch roles from playmate to father figure I always set him straight that he couldn't just do that. That's the only time I felt she needed my intervention, but apparently I was wrong. So my advice is for Moms to wake up and really pay attention to what's going on. It's your most important job to protect your daughters (and sons). Kids who feel no love for their parents may have a good reason. They are also full of raging hormones so it can be challenging to separate the truth from the drama. Is she making a deal out of nothing or should her father get some anger management help?