Why is he acting so weird?

So I’ve been to this marriage seminar. It talks about how guys need respect and girls need love. For girls, we need to talk - that’s how we connect. For guys, they don’t always need to.

In a healthy relationship, both respect one another’s needs and try to be there for one another. What happens is that if a guy feels disrespected he will usually react unlovingly - sometimes mistakenly thinking that this will ‘teach the girl’ to ‘respect’ him. In reality, this only cultivates more disrespect. In the same way, when girls feel unloved, they react disrespectfully, sometimes mistakenly thinking that this will ‘make’ the guy do what she wants and show her ‘love’. In reality, this only cultivates more ‘unloving response’.

I suggest first of all, to calm down. It’s okay. Really. Don’t depend on him so much.

Second, either write him a serious letter or tell him this RATIONALLY AND CALMLY, preferably gently:

Hey sweetheart, I know that you are feeling manipulated and disrespected. First of all, I’d like to clarify that I do respect you and appreciate you and I am sorry that my desire to talk to you have made you feel so disrespected. My desire to talk to you is my way of showing love and the desire to be connected to you. By talking to me, it fulfills my need for intimacy. While I may be coming on too strongly about it, I feel deeply unloved by your actions and personally don’t really respect the way you are reacting to the situation. I believe in open communication and even if you want to let me know you don’t ever want to talk to me again or for a period of time, I’d appreciate it that you let me know how long and what the reasons are so that we are at least on the same page. I respect you as a person, but your reaction has deeply wounded me. I will honor your decision not to talk till you are ready if that is what you choose, but I do see it as responsible move to communicate how long this is going to last and where this is going.

I love you and respect you.

Then LEAVE it. Seriously. LEAVe it. Mean what you say. If you cannot truly do what I just wrote then it’s better not to tell him that. Do that and it can possibly get better.

And dearie, you are not alone in confusion. Know that you are deeply loved. Hang out with your girlfriends! =) and have a life and a good time outside of the guy! Guys sometimes need to retreat and be by themselves a little. It rejuvinates them.

Take care and good luck!

God bless.

PS Praying is not a bad option sometimes. I pray to Jesus - church goer. =P