Why are me and my mom always arguing?

Sounds like my mother and me. I graduated at 16 thankfully or I think I’d have gone crazy. She was (and still is) very overprotective. Didnt allow me to stay at home alone (now I live alone ironically), didnt like me staying over at other people’s houses etc etc. She’s just being protective. You’re at a stage where you want your own life and she’s having a hard time letting go. You and pretty much every teenager on this planet come to blows with their parents. You’re definitely not alone. This also wont last forever. As I got older, I learned not to react so much, I learned to say ‘maybe you’re right’, I learned not to start arguments when simply agreeing with her would make the issue go away (it doesnt mean you have to do it…), I also learned to pick my battles. And she’s gotten a little mellower with time. I also implemented this argument strategy. It’s really for romantic partners, but it works for all relationships…

Give seven basic rules for negotiating, according to Family Systems Theory.

1. Don’t focus on who started it.
2. Don’t focus on who is to blame for a problem.
3. Do focus on the contribution you are making because that is the only thing you have control over (The Law of Control).
4. Don’t try to change the other person’s behavior or feelings. That is, validate his/her emotions.
5. Do make sure that you know where you stand; be clear about your own needs, desires, responsibilities, thoughts and emotions 6.Do set limits (boundaries) on the behaviors you will tolerate. (I.e. if someone starts calling you names, dont react but simply state that you will not tolerate being called names).
6. Make sure the other person knows where you stand
7. Use active listening (non-reactive listening). That is, talk “to” each other, not “at” each other. (agreeing to disagree.).

Things will most likely get better. At least it’s what I’ve seen with a majority of the people I know.