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Why am I not kissing him when I really want to?

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Ok my bestfriend (a guy) were at his house and for some reason we ended up in his bed cuddling. He was biting me gently on the back and stuff and (I don't know why I let him) I let him finger me and feel me up. I wasn't thinking and I kinda let my emotions get ahead of me. Anyway then he rolled me over and wanted to kiss me, (I still have not had my first kiss yet,) but I just shuke my head no and I felt really bad cause I wanted to so badly and I also rejected him. So what should I do? Cause I really have no clue what to tell myself... Plus was it the right thing to let him finger me, I mean it was wonderful but still I knew it was wrong but I still did it and I'm one of those girls who knows what's right to do and wrong to do but I messed up... Help me please!