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Who likes my first poem?

My first poem.

What you did

I read it but didn’t believe it You said you did it for me Because you loved me You said we needed better all we needed was to be together

I was there for you I missed her too we all did Now we miss you

I close my eyes and I can still see you didn’t do it for me You didn’t care or think about who would it would be You did it for you you didn’t do it for me

She didn’t hate you but I do You wanted to see her so bad you sinned you won’t see her again

you couldn’t handle the pain so you passed it onto me unlike you I’ll take the pain and live I’ll Never do what you did

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Answer #1

You have a very good idea with your poem, but it doesn’t flow properly.

you didn’t do it for me You didn’t care or think about who would it would be

You see stuff like this doesn’t let it flow properly. Try to play with some metaphors and avoid repetition at all costs.

Answer #2

I love it.I really do.You could feel the emtion in it.you should be a poet when you grow up.

Answer #3

Pretty good poem. Its alittle repetitive but its still goood.

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