Who do I choose, why is it so hard?

I honestly do not know how to start this. Well lastely we been dealing with something and me and my brother moved in with my dad until our “ drama is over” Now that it is over I am wondering whether I should move in with my dad perminatly. I know what you are thinking, thats easy, but honestly it isnt there is more to it.

See with my mom I dont have the freedom she keeps me on a leash literally speaking. She yells my name so much that if I am in a dead sleep I would get up because I would think she called me and when I go back to see I look and find her sleeping. I think im going insane. I have a 7 year old brother and see my mom works hours from 2am to almost 8:30am and I have to get him up for school and make sure he eats and off to school. But if I move in with my dad I wont be able to I would feel bad in a way.

See im really close with my grandparents as well and they arent really thrilled if I wanted to move in with my dad because they think he is such a bad person and he really isnt. She told me if I moved in with him I can kiss her helping me out goodbye. I honestly dont think that is fair.It is like they are trying to hold me back and keep me on my leash you know? Honestly I dont know if I want to because im worried about all the drama that it will cause at home and I do hate hurting people and putting them through pain..

Im lost and confused..