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My husband and I was married for almost 30 years.we have three kids. Before we got saved,; we both commited adultry,but I never cheated on his once we got saved,but he has.now he wants a divorce because he has left me and found someone else.the fact that he admitted we both commited adultry in the past,makes him think he can move on with this other woman.we are seperated,but have been off and on for years.the reason we have a legal seperation was to buy a house because his credit was bad.my question is this?
If I have been faithful since we got saved and god forgave us;I also still love him and dont want the divorce,but he is using we comitted adultry as a way to be with her.I told him this is wrong and adultry.I need advice please? Is he free to divorce me and marry her?
And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put [her] away.
Jesus Almighty God talked about divorce when He said "Moses For the hardness of your heart wrote you this precept.But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female(God gave the better plans for us to love and not have to ever divorce as God says He hates divorce yet God gives us free will and the power to choose between His way and the devil's way of doing things).For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man take apart.And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same [matter].And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. Even if you are a top notch lawyer it all comes down to there are two commandments that if you obey then one need never fear the original ten commandments.1.Love God with your all(All your heart,your soul,and your mind. 2.Love your neighbor like you do yourself.( What have a problem with step 2 or commandment 2 ? If so work on step 1 more). Always try to bring in Mercy and Forgiveness along with Truth. Jesus said Forgive and you will be forgiven. James 2:13 For he will have judgment without MERCY, that hath showed no MERCY; and MERCY rejoices against judgment.
Legally, I don't think you can force him to stay in a marriage that he is unsatisfied with. He has the right to file for divorce. However, I'm not sure of the technicalities of a divorce. I think that you do need to sign the divorce papers as well, but if you refuse, I'm sure there are other sorts of ways to go about the divorce, but it might drag the process out and it can be emotionally harder on the both of you.
You need to think through the situation even more thoroughly now. Does he still love you? Do you want him to remain married with you but unhappy? Do you think there is any way that you can save this marriage? Have you both have had a long, mature discussion about it? Has he set his mind and said that there's no turning back? Is he willing to throw away 30 years of memories? Have you met this woman? Is he sure that this woman will be there for him through thick and thin?
Sorry to hear about your situation though, I hope the best for you.
I hate to be the one to give the bad news, But he can if he truly wants to. But from what I can see, (and I may be wrong), but I think he's using he adultery excuse to soften the blow. I think he's afraid to tell you that he doesn't love you anymore. If he wants the divorce he has a right to it, however he must go through marriage counselling with you first. Otherwise a divorce cannot be finalized. Unless of course if moving in with her, has moved him out of the country and you are unable to reach him, then after a year a divorce can be made without counselling.
I think it's wonderful that after nearly 30 years, and an unfortunate incident that you still love him. But I think that it is still tragic that after nearly 30 years it has to end.
Ask him how he really feels about you and your marriage, and request the counselling as you are entitled to it.
Yes, I'm afraid that legally he can go, although, as thecowgod above explained, there are various procedures involved.
But you asked about the Bible as well: and here the New Testament is clear. Throughout the New Testament we are repeatedly told that ALL our sins will be forgiven if we are truly repentant.
Your husband may be using your much-earlier adultery as an excuse. Maybe he's fooling himself, but it shouldn't fool you. You emotions may be all in turmoil, but in terms of your religion, there is no doubt: if you have repented and embarked on a new life based on the teaching of Jesus, you have been forgiven.
I for once agree with Captian...
Legally yes, he has that right, Scriptually, no,,before you were not a Christian(not that what you both did was acceptable) but since becoming a christian you decided to live under different rules(God's) He forgave and the slate was wiped clean... Since you both have become Christians, your husband has committed adultry and you havent...let him go, as Captian says, it shows how he really didnt decide to follow God and respect his marriage vows, but you do now have a reason for divorce(Scriptually) since he cheated...but he doesnt...
Seek Gods will in the matter, if you still love this man, and are willing to forgive him,for his indiscretions, God might be able to bring him back around, since he hates divorce. However, If his mind is made up, prayer won't change him, Only God knows what is best in this situation, he will help you, keep seeking him, and asking for his perfect will to be done, in both of your lives.
You are lucky to be saved! According to the New Testament, Jesus will now answer your prayers... wait and see!
But if you want to solve this problem in a more rational and constructive way, seek legal aid. Also, professional counseling could help you towards making beneficial decisions. Your welfare, and that of your children should be your priority!
The fact that he has another women... and wants to be with her, and not you, should give you a CLEAR picture regarding his character and values. Apparently, getting 'saved' didn't make him a better person, nor did it make him respect you more. You shouldn't (and God wouldn't want you to) deal with that sort of treatment... drop him... move on...
I cannot know the intricate details of your situation: the level of repentance on the part of your spouse, the history of this kind of behavior, the actual situation of the adultery. It is vital that you seek the counsel of a pastor or a Christian marriage counselor...your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
everyone is right! he can do that.
but you should still confront him about using adultry as an excuse. you should know the real reason, etc. you deserve that much
If he wants to leave you, he can. It doesn't sound to me like he buys into the sin concept much.
I'm very sensible... but my sensibility is double-dipped in bluntness and caustic humour.
I for once agree with Captian...
Be careful... its contagious...
Yes pray to our loving father. He will take care of the situation.
it may be when there are sensible things said. ;D
watch fireproof the movie, it may help
