MY question: What do you make of what Stacy’s mom said yesterday about the 99 cent store and today and give details?
FIRST PART (WHICH HAPPENED APRIL 30, 2008): Stacy and her mom went to Kohl’s Department store. Stacy had two pairs of pants in her hands that she was going to try on and see if she wanted to buy. (KEEP IN MIND THE 99 CENT STORE ONLY SELLS SWEATERS, BLAZERS, BLOUSES. STACY GOES TO THE BIG DEPARTMENT STORES FOR PANTS, WINTER COATS, RAINCOATS).
Mom: “You know you are dangerous being here at Kohls. Remember you are not working right now and last week you went to Kohls and purchased three pairs of pants.” Stacy: “Mom what about what I buy at the 99 cent store” Mom: “That is different. At the 99 cent store you are spending only 99 cents as compared to 29 dollars” Stacy: “Mom are you including the 99 cent store when you said Remember you are not working right now and last week you went to Kohls and purchased three pairs of pants” Mom: “No I never even mentioned the 99 store. Stacy: “Just confirming”
UPDATE (WHICH HAPPENED TONIGHT AT DINNER): Mom: “Did you take out money today from the bank?” Stacy: “No but tomorrow I will” Mom: “You have to be careful with your money because soon you will have your insurance bill and medical bill to pay” There was a five minute pause and the following happened: Stacy: “Are you including the 99 cent store in what you said” Mom: : “All I am saying is that you have bills to pay. I don’t care what you do, just pay your bills” Stacy: “Mom for saying what you just said I am not taking you out for your birthday tomorrow”
About an hour later her mom came into Stacy’s room and was yelling at Stacy, saying all types of nasty remarks:
Stacy: “Are you including the 99 cent store” (Stacy said this during the course of her mothers tirade Mom: “Yes I am including everything” Stacy: “When we were Kohl’s you werent” Mom: :“Because I did not want to make a scene and I don’t want the blouses you gave me so here they are I am giving them back to you. You didn’t have to buy all those wallets at the 99 cent store and the three pairs of pants at Kohls last week Stacy: “I like those wallets that type is so hard to come by” Then more nasty things were said
I'll answer this question for the last time, but first, I want to make a comment about your question: WHY do you keep sending basically the same question. this is like the 5th or more time that you've submitted a question about the 99 cent store and your mother. please, just let it go. this website is to give advice, not make comments about every little piece of your life and private arguments.
Stacy's (your) mom probably is trying to get her (you) to not spend as much money on clothes and stuff that you dont need. just because you liked the wallets and they were at the 99 cent store, doesn't mean that you have 2 buy them. she is concerned that you r going to waste all of you money on material possesions and not have enough money to pay your bills or use it for something that you really need later. even though you bought her those shirts out of love, she doesn't want to be part of your crazy spending. basically she is saying: "Stop with the spending already!!! Save your money!!!"
I agree with the editor, you are bringing up the 99 cent store entirely too often. If your mother brings up anything at all...you ask her if she is including the 99 cent store. In regards to the question itself, your mother obviously just doesn't want you spending all of your money on clothes and wallets and what have you, when you are going to have bills to pay soon. I don't think that is such a horrible expectation and it's advice any mother would give, especially when you don't have any income coming in. Maybe you could get a job at the 99 cent store...that way you would have money and you would always be at the 99 cent store.
I think you might want to consider seeing a therapist or psychiatrist...this type of obsession (over arguments with your Mom and the 99 cent store) is not normal. Even in the dialogue you give to us, you bring up the 99 cent store even when your Mom isn't talking about it. You have an unhealthy obsession and I think getting professional help for this OCD would improve your relationship greatly.
I think she said those things out of anger - we all get like that sometimes. The best thing to do is not fight back and just compromise. Yelling at each other just makes it worse.
Editor has a point, whether it is OCD or simply attention seeking behavior, a therapist may be able to help you
EXACTLY, ty and editor
