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What do you think of my poem?

So I had to write a villanelle for an assignment. It’s funny because I dreaded writing it, but it just all came out so easily. Let me know what you think.

Just when I thought that you were here to stay, You told me just to listen and stay strong. (I need you– please, oh please, don’t go away.)

You told me that your feelings turned to grey. I bit my lip but still I went along. (Just when I thought that you were here to stay.)

And on you went. I knew not what to say. (Deep breath) Just then I heard the awful song. I need you– please, oh please, don’t go away.

You told me what you’d done. I felt betrayed. You said together we did not belong, Just when I thought that you were here to stay.

I burst in tears and that is when I say, (These words you spoke, they felt so very wrong.) “I need you! Please, oh please, don’t go away.”

You turned your back and walked right out that day. The time you took to reach the door felt long. Just when I thought that you were here to stay. I need you– please, oh please, don’t go away.

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Answer #1

I like it. It would be better if you would change the wording around.Use synonyms.but over all I thought it was good.

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