What do I do when always she's mad?

So me and my girl Whitney just broke, uhm we broke up because Whitney said physically I wasn’t in our relationship, she said my relationship with her was basically through my phone which was part true because I’m constantly busy with my job etc.. But for the most part the lil time I got is all for her. She would argue wit me every night over stupid things and like normal I’d ignore her and go to bed. Some time passed and I meet this new girl Amber at my job attractive, cool and down the earth we’d vibe an click I mean going through this BS back at home I forgot all about Whitney at the time. I didn’t cheat I would just go to her about my relationship problems and she would help me out ! I mean we’d go out on lunch talk we were really close felt good to have much in common. So with her advice I took time out of my busy schedule, came home early, cooked, clean etc.. Now my relationship wit my worker made me happy so yeah I came home all smiles,Whitney would wonder because for sure she ain’t put that smile there. Whitney noticed started avoiding me, the arguing became a must for her I mean are argue was our communication, it got to the point where I’d come home go to my office, we wouldn’t touch, look, talk, or even be in the same room as each other. Well one day (a day off at that) yeah instead of taking her out making her happy, I just got really feed up and asked her what did she want from me she rolled her eyes and started cursing what she does best, then she mentioned me and this girl she said “if you ain’t wan be wit me das all you had to say aint gotta creep round why even bother with u ? I dont even care bout you anymore you an your other girl can do what yall wanna do leave me alone” , Well you know I had to stand my ground and that’s when the fussing and fighting that I hate started , I told her over and over Amber and I we just friends nothing more or less. She wouldn’t listen packed and left. Amber then became too close wanted to come over hang out outside of work etc.. I didn’t mind but sometimes I’d denied her because I knew deep down that’s not what I wanted I still was in love with Whitney to move on So yeah I’m here now typing for advice lonely, I mean I miss her so much regardless of the arguing she still mattered to me. What can I say or do to get her back, wit her ignoring all of my calls and text?

Answer #1

It’s normal to want to get back together. But you need wake up and realize that you and Whitney we not making each other happy. Ok, from the beginning…Whitney says “you’re not physically in the relationship”. Indirectly, what she was really saying was “you aren’t spending enough time with me, and now I’ve lost interest.” She clearly wasn’t happy with the relationship, which is why she would argue over stupid things. The stupid things were not what was REALLY making her mad. The fact she was stuck in a relationship with a guy that didn’t give her what she needed made her mad. And the fact that she was stuck in this relationship she was too scared to end made her mad (most likely at herself, and she took it out on you)

And that was really unfair to you. It sounds like you really tried to make time for her, and it just wasn’t good enough for her. Only instead of breaking up, she decided to be passive aggressive and just pick fights with you to timidly show you she wasn’t happy (maybe in hopes you would break up with her?).

Don’t try and get back with Whitney. You will want to (pretty bad). But just try and remember the times that really proved you both didn’t have a future together. She clearly needs a lot of attention from her boyfriend/significant other in order to be happy. And that is absolutely fine. Nothing wrong with that. However, it sounds like with you’re personality type, or job commitment (or “job” commitment…meaning the hot girl AT your job lol) or whatever it is, you can’t give her that attention. And that’s ok, too. You 2 are not compatible, but you’ll both find someone else that can give you what you both need to be happy.

And go ahead and be honest with yourself about Amber. She sounds like the exact comfort you’d look for in your situation. A pleasant, fun, down to earth girl is refreshing when you’re stuck in a shitty prolonged relationship with a passive aggressive b1tch. Maybe she’s cute? Maybe you wanted to fuck her? You need to be honest with yourself so you can find out what you really want.

Answer #2

well she does have a bit of a right to be mad about amber because you did like this girl as more than a friend and when your in a relationship with someone, and like someone else as more than a friend, the girlfreind wont be happy at all even if you didnt cheat on her’ also when she was arguing with you about not spending much time with her, did you talk about it with her? or just ignore her every time? because if you just ignored her she wouldnt have felt like you cared about what she was saying if you want her back your going to need to show her that youll be more physically in the relationship tell her you do have a ommittment to be at work, but will spend the time you can with her also try to not be on your phone as much and if she wanst to argue about something, talk to her about it and try to work the porblem out,not just ignore it so they build up so basically you have to show/tell her that your goind to do better and hope for another chnace tell her you still love her and want to make it work but keep in mind that if shes over you and doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore, you cant change that

Answer #3

Write her something so beautiful she sees and feels you have a soul like no other man, for love is a union of souls

Answer #4

So it’s been like forever an I actually took your advice well first I thought to myself like you insisted and then I made my move,….. Uhhh lol didn’t really listen but Whitney and myself somehow bumped into each other I’ll say around late May, we were like at some type of park thing so we walked and talked for I’ll say a good 2hrs (and wow was she looking sooo gooood lol) exchanged numbers and been talking since,… We’ve talked about my whole “Amber” situation and why our relationship was not working said our apologizes yada yada,…. We talk on the regular bases uhm before we never really touched on going back out I mean if one of us would bring it up either of us will find a way to avoid answering,…. But the more comfortable we become the easier it was to say and answer those questions we’d avoid,.. We’ve became like extremely close sometimes she even comes over and we’ll watch a movie maybe cook dinner have dinner go out shop what ever we’d want to do we’d do,.. Just about 2 weeks ago we decided we wanted to be together and it was worth giving it another try so we moved into a nice lil apartment together and got everything situated,.. With me quitting my job I have much more time for her and our expecting child she’s only a month and idk how many weeks lol but she acts like she’s 5 months,.. Sometimes when we’re laying together I often think could this be real? Cuz after all we been through from us never wanting to have nothing to do with each other to living in a house together with a child on the way,.. We’ve matured soo much a lot of things we did in our past was just immature, selfish etc. Our changes that we made I hope we’ll last us to the end!

Answer #5

So it’s been like forever an I actually took your advice well first I thought to myself like you insisted and then I made my move,….. Uhhh lol didn’t really listen but Whitney and myself somehow bumped into each other I’ll say around late May, we were like at some type of park thing so we walked and talked for I’ll say a good 2hrs (and wow was she looking sooo gooood lol) exchanged numbers and been talking since,… We’ve talked about my whole “Amber” situation and why our relationship was not working said our apologizes yada yada,…. We talk on the regular bases uhm before we never really touched on going back out I mean if one of us would bring it up either of us will find a way to avoid answering,…. But the more comfortable we become the easier it was to say and answer those questions we’d avoid,.. We’ve became like extremely close sometimes she even comes over and we’ll watch a movie maybe cook dinner have dinner go out shop what ever we’d want to do we’d do,.. Just about 2 weeks ago we decided we wanted to be together and it was worth giving it another try so we moved into a nice lil apartment together and got everything situated,.. With me quitting my job I have much more time for her and our expecting child she’s only a month and idk how many weeks lol but she acts like she’s 5 months,.. Sometimes when we’re laying together I often think could this be real? Cuz after all we been through from us never wanting to have nothing to do with each other to living in a house together with a child on the way,.. We’ve matured soo much a lot of things we did in our past was just immature, selfish etc. Our changes that we made I hope we’ll last us to the end!

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