Why am I always vengeful?

Every time someone hurts me, my first instinct is to hurt them back (I don’t mean physically) but if someone hurts me, I’m automatically like ‘— you, then’.. and before thinking twice, I do things that could equally hurt them. If they tell my secret, I want to tell theirs. It’s so immature, but I imagine it’s my pride… or I’m embarrassed that they hurt me.. but how do I stop being like that? I need to be the bigger person, but I let my stubbornness get in my way…

Answer #1

because people suck and if you dont do something, chances are they will just go on being the horrible people they are with no repercussions. Doesnt mean its the best thing to do but a completely natual instinct! I think the easiest way to control it is to find a way to calm yourself down. My supervisor likes to write them a nasty email (WITHOUT putting in an email address so you dont have any mishaps) where she would tell them exactly what she thinks of them, and by the time she has finished writing it, she is over it.

Answer #2

You know, that’s a pretty good idea. Because I vent to people, whoever hurt me, I’d talk all kinds of trash about them to someone, and then feel better. I think keeping it to myself and writing it in an email might be better and safer though. Thanks!

Answer #3

Well, the “side ways” emotion to being hurt is anger….so feeling vengeful is natural…..acting on it, however, isn’t always in YOUR best interest. The saying that “revenge is a dish, best served cold”, is true. Before taking action on your emtions, let them cool….so you’re able to see what reprucussions may lay in wait if you act. Sometimes, a mistake has been made, sometimes you might actually be a pawn in somebody else’s little plan….things are rarely as they appear when first viewed.

Think of it this way. You can ALWAYS get your revenge….so put it off until you can see the whole thing clearly. Waiting a bit won’t hurt anyting.

p

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Immigration Nation

Immigration Services, Consulting Services, Professional Services

Advisor

BNP Advertising Production

Advertising Agency, Production Company, Marketing Services

Advisor

Scion Staffing Austin

Staffing Agency, Executive Search Firm, Recruiting Services

Advisor

nytimes.com

News, Media, Politics

Advisor

AMD SOL

Medical Billing Services, Specialty EHR Solutions, Patient Support Services