So this is what happened yesterday: My mom came home pissed and started yelling at me because the house was dirty (In a rather harsh way). She told me to clean the dishes, and when I was done with that my room. When I was in my room, I started crying. She asked me "What the fuck are you crying about?!". I lashed out at her, screaming I was miserable (I told her I was depressed before this and she blew it off), I wanted to kill myself and I didn't know what was stopping me from drinking every bottle of bleach we had.
As a side note, my mom took me to other therapists but I didn't want to go, because I felt (Still with me here?) ashamed. I hate pity
She started to cry, asked me if that was really the case and I said it was. We just sat on my floor, both of us crying for a bit. I apologized for putting so much weight on her. She said I wasn't putting weight on her, and that she loved me more than anything. She said that tomorrow morning she would look for a real therapist and this time I was going, no excuses. She also said that she needed to think about this, and went out of my room.
This happened yesterday, and it's now 10:23 in the morning. When I woke up (A bit after 10), she wasn't at home, and she still isn't. He laptop is gone, too.
So, what do I do now?
damn i know you dont wanna see a therapist but they really do help i wish i could see one but honestly i cant bring it up to my dad he would get mad,,, but hey its worth a shot they arent there to feel sorry for you or to judge you there there to help and listen... ive actually heard alot of people who have overcome alot by seeing one. and i think what you should do now is take what your mom said to heart shes only trying to help you and its best that now she knows how you feel and she can help you get threw what your going threw... and since shes not come maybe call and ask were shes at..
You give her a call and let her know how you're feeling at the moment. Don't forget to ask her how she's doing.