Funadvice Logo

The Ex-girlfriend

Home More advice Love & Relationships

This was just one example of many people that have approached me over the last few years all similar in conversation.

Ok, so my ex seems to be questioning people about me. I’ve been out of a relationship with her for over 3 years and I’m currently in a committed relationship and have been for the last two and a half years. I recently went back to my hometown for a visit and I was speaking with a business contact of mine. While in conversation she decided that I should know that every time my ex comes into her business she wants to know if she has spoken with me. What I’m doing and where I’m living. My business contact informs her that her friends are really none of her concern and if I wanted contact with her. I would contact her.

This was a relationship that ended violently and had to be settled through the courts. This is someone that I have known for a good 14 years. She is now twenty-eight. She was a product of a bad family environment. She ran away at sixteen and resurfaced in my life a few years later when she contacted me by phone. She has put herself through college and is well established with a very well know fortune 500 company. I know that she has attempted to have relationships with other people and they have all failed. She has attempted suicide in the past and has issues with low-self esteem. She buries herself in her work and has a hard time with telling the truth. It seems as though she always would surround herself with important people to make herself seem more important. I feel she has no balance in her life and she seems to be clasping at something that never seems obtainable to her. I look back now and feel like certain people are in your lives for reasons. I feel my relationship with her was for guidance and support. She responded in violence because it was her way of trying to take back control because she was out of her element when she had to actually stop and think. What’s that saying I’m not sure? A fool surrounds themselves in chaos to make there lives seem balanced?

Should I make nice after all this time of just let it ride?