iv been in foster care for 16 years and my real dad gets out of prison in one month and wants me n m y lil sis back in his cutody, i miss n love him but i do love my foster parents too, what ever i choose, sombodys gunna hurt i just dont know what to do....
I would not jump to making any permanent changes, until as others posted, your sure about the decision you feel is best to make. Sodagirl is right being a biological father or mother does not make a parent. The other thing you need to be very aware of if he's spent years in prison is that the readjustment back into society is MAJOR and takes a very long time to do. And the reality is that more people fail then succeed in the transformation. Basically he's lived in an wild animal enviornment, he is used to being told what to do and when, he is stripped of being a human and becomes only a number. However long he's been in there is the difference in what changes have developed in society he'll be faced to learn and struggle with. Not to mention, the struggles in making a livelyhood being a released prisoner. He may be your father, but I seriously doubt he will have the ability to cope with the added responsiblities of caring for two daughters. Personally, I would keep in contact with him but see how he is adapting in the transition, safe with your foster family. He is not the person you last saw. And it takes a very long time if ever for them to adjust back into functioning part of society. He can still be your father, but you already have from the sounds of it, caring parents who are willing and able to care for you and your sister. A long term prisoner just released is not capable of giving you that kind of assurence regardless of his good intentions.
It really depends who knows what's best for you. Here's a question to ask yourself: Why is he in jail? Was it something that happened to me? Do I want this happening again?
I was in foster care because my mother couldn't take care of me, and I went back after 8 years in care, after I turned 18. Worst thing ever. I wish I never did. She still didn't know how to take care of me. She assumed that a kid still in school could cook for herself AND her siblings, get all her work done, and work long enough.
So the main question here is this: Who knows what's best for me? That's what I would go by. I may be in college right now for free if I had stayed...then again I wouldn't be married.
It depends on who will take more responsible care of you, while loving you and supporting you. If they both love you equally, they will support your decision, unless they think it's a dangerous or irresponsible one. For example, if you want to go back to your dad, your foster parents will still love you. If they don't support the decision, it's for that reason. The people who love you only want to protect you. If you want to stay with your foster parents, your dad will support you if he knows what's best for you. Either way, I advise you to follow your heart and your gut. Don't let either side pressure you into making a decision that doesn't feel right. Good luck!
Um I think you should stay with your foster parents.... See if they raised you for 16 years there basically your parents.. They've always been there for you? Yes? Well parents arent made by blood a parent is someone who is always there for you and loves you.. Your dad hasn't been there for you? Hes been in prison I think you should slowly start seeing your dad maybe stay with him every other weekend? Or so... But don't leave your foster parents.. That's what I think n what I'd do..
do not go by the one that loves u more cuz they could love u the wrong way i emphasize the "they could" for example my step father sexualy abused me for years and my mom cant leave him thats why im in foster care. but my step father loved me in the wrong way nut im not saying that is the case for u. so if u want the best answer u have to elaborate on why ur in foster care.
home is where the heart is.
biologically he may be your dad but can you really love a person you don't really know (and in prison,for 16 years at that)?
I agree with the informer, maybe you should take it slow, stay with the foster parents until you get a chance to feel your dad out
well if u want an honest answer u have to say why ur in foster care and why ur dad went to jail. im in a foster home as well
Go with the one you love more, and the one that loves you more. But, I take it, your birth parents.
Whoever can make a better future for you should be the people who should care for you
well depends which one do you like better?
Couldn't have said it better myself.