Sleeping with my ex, sort of.

I have been seperated from my wife for almost two years now, We have dated on and off since I moved out. Recently I told her to make a decision one way or anotherand she did. She said she did not want to get back together. HOWEVER, she said that we should see each other casually. This would mean her coming over to my place and us sleeping together. Yet, not going out and doing things publicly which would completely confuse our friends and family. I am not romantically interested in anyone else right now and she goes out to the clubs once in a while. I don’t think she is sleeping around very much and she does practice safe sex. Our sex life together has always been incredible but step-children and family have made us being together impossible. Should I continue to see her casually (secretly) for just some close times, laughs and sex or should I simply call it quits and move on as quickly as possible? What do you think? Any opinions are welcome.

Answer #1

GET OUT!! clearly you still have feelings for her, feelings she doesn’t share with you. It seems she’s keeping you as a just in case? what is she getting from you besides the sex? doesn’t she want you to move on? If she’s not planning on going back with you, it’s time for you to move on. It’s been two years already maybe you missed on meeting wonderful people, maybe you are missing the chance to fall in love again… let her go… I know that’s the hardest part… think about your future, your life and what makes you happy. Maybe she just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and that’s why she said you could meet some times.

Answer #2

Ok my husband got out of this situation, when he chose me over her for good. What happens with women like this is that they are manipulative, plain and simple. They want ot have their cake and eat it to and they simply don’t WANT to choose because they’re getting the best of both worlds from both their spouse and their new found love.

It’s simple, move on with your life. She has chosen this path in her life and it’s not your problem to deal with it. Just wash your hands of her and ONLY have contact with her for the sake of children. She won’t like it, when you DO move on she’ll then play the “i want us to be together card” OR she’ll throw other people in your face. She’ll call constantly, she won’t want to be ignored. She wants people to cater to her every whim and i have the feeling you did that for a very long time, She’s not a child, she’s an adult, she doesn’t need her head stroked and her hand held or to be coddled. Move on, it’s that simple.

When i met my husband he was seperated and the divorce was almost finalized. His ex lost a TON of weight, left her because she “looked so damngood she could have anyone she wanted” and she started seeing a guy who didn’t know she was married, thought she’d been seperated longer then she had, he didn’t have her address, or her home phone number. They only went out on weekends, etc etc etc. When she finally moved out she’d call her ex and have him come over on nights her boyfriend was away. he tried everything he could for her, all she said was she wanted MORE and BETTER. The day she found out we were together it became “i only signed the divorce papers SO WE COULD GET REMARRIED (HE filed on audltry against her, she got the papers, signed them and filed them herself that very day).

Anyway move on, get out, tell her to go screw herself or whatever but don’t fall prety to her manipulations. I know as a man that will be VERY hard, but move on. Get out some, see people casually or seriously. Remember that loves come and go and if you haven’t found the right one then you will. My husband and i connected on the day we met and our first date still hasn’t ended. We weren’t looking for long term, we were both looking for casual, simple relationships, but he was ready to move on, His ex had and blamed HIM for all her problems. You didn’t leave, she did, you aren’t making her do things, she’s doing them on her own.

GET… OUT

Answer #3

I don’t think it would be very healthy, and may be very bad for your self esteem in the long run, especially when she finally finds the one she wants to be with. I say get out now.

Answer #4

:) As far as I remember there was an American film titeled “Same Time, Next Year”. I think it is not so bad (even it is very human) if there are some endless relationships after divorcing.

Answer #5

WOW! This is one strange situation! :)) Basically, arabfilly is right, although I feel like she’s exaggerating! I would say 2 things: do as your feel like and 2nd, do it as long as you don’t lose control. And also think about where things are going, if there is some future, if not - better quit right now. “family have made us being together impossible” - is it really the fault of the family? I mean yes, maybe, but ONLY? Ok final advice: start seeing somebody else in the same time. It’s the best thing to do. And discuss with her like 2 adults that you are, where the hell are you heading. :) Take care and have good sex! :D

Answer #6

True, but the guy still wanted to be with her, thus by seeing her like this it’ll just harm him later on … just a thought.

Answer #7

it is possible to live separated and being very close in soul with occasional meeting….yes..

Answer #8

Get out or stay in??

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