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Should a man leave his loveless relationship if they have a child?
Im 19 and I have been seeing a guy who has a girlfriend (I know badd) but we love eachother and the only reason he wont leave is because they have a son and he wants be there for him. I would never ask him to choose but I just want him to be happy and I feel like he thinks the only way to be a good father is to stay with his son’s mother. even if that means him being unhappy. He say’s they have not been the same since there son was born and his son is now 18months old, he’s only 22. Do you think its wrong if he leave’s her?
I’m sorry I just answered your question… I took your question all wrong… sorry to give advice on your relationship.. your right you cant help who you fall in love with… like I said follow your heart… but the answer to your question… yes a man should leave his lovless relationshop if they have a child… if the love isnt their there its not worth it… he wont miss out on his childs life if he dont let it happen… he will always be the childs father thats what he needs to realize…
Good God life is too short to stay in a loveless relationship. You can still manage to be a hands on parent even though you are not living with the child. Its all about handling things right with the ex so that you are both there for the child. A child should be brought up in a loving relationship seeing parents showing love and affection for each other openly and if you can’t do that then you need to make changes.
Ok, I have been in this situation before where I have dated a guy that had a girlfriend and a child. I loved him and he said he loved me too and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and have a home with me… raise children and bla bla bla… I went three years of my life waiting for him to leave the mother of his child because he said he didnt love her anymore and that he was going to leave her so we could be happy and it never happened… it was three years of my life wasted on someone who knew that they were never going to leave. If he loved you that much he wouldnt be by a girls side that he didnt love just because he had a baby … he would make his life happy with you and worry about your feelings and have some respect for you… dont do this to yourself… give him a choice … its just as hard on a child if not harder if their parents are not happy together. I could be wrong I dont know your two’s relationship so you need to follow your heart.
“you cant help who you fall in love with” True- but people also fall in love with the WRONG people all the time. It’s what you do about the situation that matters. Just because you love someone, does not mean you should be together. It takes more than just love.
“Im not happy with the way things are I feel guilty every day” Then you know what you need to do. Why try and be with someone who is not availiable. Why put yourself through this. For Love? I dont think so. That’s not a good reason.
“at the age of 22 should you stay with someone just for the fact that you have a child”‘ You shouldn’t stay with anyone at ANY age, just because you have a child. That’s why I’m saying this doesn’t make since to me. He’s young, there is no reason why he would be staying with a woman he does not love, if he loved you.
I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just trying to show you the other side of this situation. I think your missing all of this because your blinded by your own emotions. Love makes you miss things that are obvious to other people sometimes.
wow..I am in a VERY simular situation. would love to discuss this with you more…maybe we can help each other…if your interested email me cosmclace@hotmail.com
I dont think it would be wrong of him to leave her. Although, I dont believe his story either. If he wanted to leave her and he REALLY loved you, he would have left already. It sounds to me like he’s playing you, personally. His age has nothing to do with him having to be a father. My fiance is only 21 and he’s the best dad ever. It doesn’t sound like he wants to leave her to me. Why are you sticking around with someone who is involved anyways. Your only opening youself to get your heart broken. How would you feel if you were his girlfriend? How would you feel is your man was cheating on you? Try and see things from her point of view, and have a little more respect for youself.
Believe me I never asked to be in this situation, my dad cheated on my mum so I know how it feels. And I have respect for myself but you cant help who you fall in love with. Its not that I’ve disreguarded this girl believe me I’ve put myself in her shoes many times. Im not happy with the way things are I feel guilty every day. I know what your saying about he might be using this as an excuse because I’ve considered that too and that may well be the case although I dont feel it is but that could be my emotions overshadowing the reality of the situation, I dont know all I know is that I care for him a lot. Im not using his age as a reason for him not to be a father but my question is at the age of 22 should you stay with someone just for the fact that you have a child. thanks for yor opinion
Thanks but your telling me things that I already know. My feelings are important to me, your saying its not a good enough reason but to me the way I feel is something well worth basing my actions on. And I agree it takes more that just love.
I think your missing the point, people have there opiinions on my relationship that I have with him. most of it negative obviously because its not an ideal situation an im not about to defend my situation and it seems to me that you are looking at it from your pov being a mother and having a fiance. My point is he supports his girl without him she would struggle and he is affraid that he will miss out on him son growin up. I then go back to saying you cant help who you fall in love with, I never asked for this it just happend and reguadless of weather he loves me or not im excluding myself from the equasion. you answered: “You shouldn’t stay with anyone at ANY age, just because you have a child” Thank you x
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