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Do I feel at home? Well i cannot answer that except with a question Is home where the heart is? Or where a roof with your name on hangs? Before I can answer your question you must answer mine
Sorrow and despair fills the halls as the girl i am has not returned For i know not where to go my heart is missing the roof has no name so my dear where is home from here ??
no offense here...Im not critisizing god forbid...just giving feedback as asked!
It sounds undone...like you rushed to finish it...:( close your eyes...take a deep breath...and allow the words to come from your heart not from your mind...
not that I am some expert or specialist or anything like that...it just sounds to me like you werent really putting any effort into it...there is no soul...its sort of empty for me....
try to rewrite that...this time, search with in your real emotions...it doesnt have to make sense to anyone, just yourself...but allow it to come from your inner you...allow us to feel that of what you feel...
just my 2 cents... good luck!
I would be honored to read some...but, i think it would be easier to funmail me them...i wouldnt know where to begin looking :P
thanks i will do :) mabye you could take a look at some others ive put on nd let me know what you think ??
very nice, i like it... :)
