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Read my poem,and tell me what you think?
The english language
Floating in the cold water melting
Your face getting hit by the beating sun
Eyes are closed and see a bright light flashing
Opened eyes see bird like creatures flying under the sun
Mutated shadows on the gravel beside you
Human faces on small feathered bodies
You get up and out in your soaked jeans and tangled hair
The devil dog with the white eye runs past
Almost knocking you back into the water
Your temples hurt so you rub them with your fingers of bad circulation
The rubbing doesn’t help much, but at least you’re trying
“want a pain killer?” the tree with one arm said.
You kept walking even though you knew the answer was there
excellent, one of those poems that you have to look at closely to see the full meaning. I like it!
I love it! God gave you a great talent.
Its ok.
sounds like your trying really hard to be deep and shocking and are coming up short. like the emo cook book… sorry to be rough on you.. but I know nothing of poetry, so I could be 100% wrong. it just never appealed to me.. well sorta.. it just seemed to easy..
they said beware the ides of march my friends impending doom is around the bend Dark thunderous clouds roll through the sky an omen for the times to come by I was nestled omnisciently upon a bed of grass contemplating ideas from the past will the truth set us free or become those clouds of destiny panic pain love laugh what options we choose become the past nothing is ever meant to last impending doom alas alas
thats some stuff I just wrote in less than 10 min… lol dont go stealing it now ha!
the first half was good but the secound half could havebeen better put your mind to it you can do it 1_~ Don’t force it, let it flow out
I love it
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