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Am I over-reacting and expecting too much or do you think I'm justified in wanting to end my relationship with my boyfriend?

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I met a guy online. He seemed smart, nice, funny, and into me. I talked to him online for a while and we decided to meet in person. We went out to lunch and he surprised me with flowers. We made our relationship official at the end of the second date.

Some things just don't seem right in the relationship and I feel like he doesn't care about my needs. During my first phone conversation with him (before we met in person), he named 3 things as must-haves in a relationship. They were 1.) respect 2.) no craziness and 3.) sex. I told him I am a virgin and he said oral sex was fine until I was ready to have sex.

He is an optometrist resident and blames his residency on why I never see him. Sometimes, I go up to three weeks without seeing him. We've been boyfriend and girlfriend since February 15th, and I've seen him four times since then. He used to only email me or text me about once a week, with the occasional exception. When he does leave me texts or emails, they mostly either say, "miss you" or "hey sexy".

I'm opposed to oral sex early in relationships, and I tried to explain that to him. He would just cut me off and say why I was wrong and he was right. He refused to cuddle with me because he said he'd get "blue balls". He'd try to cuddle with me, and less twenty seconds after we'd get close, he'd whine ouch and move away.

I wanted to meet his needs, so I gave him oral sex on the third date. I feel like that was a mistake.

About six weeks ago, I tried to explain to him that I have needs too and want him to contact me more and that I want to see him more than once every few weeks. We live less than 30 minutes away from each other. He said he'd work on it and was just having a difficult time at work and with his family. I ask him about his family a lot, and he says he doesn't want to burden me with it. After he promised to work on it, I didn't hear from him for almost three weeks.

Last week, he called me and I told him we need to talk. I told him that I'm very unhappy. He accused me of "craziness" (one of the things he said he could not have in a relationship). After a long conversation, he promised that he'd contact me more and see me at least once a week. He's contacted me every day this week (and one day, he emailed me twice!), but he ignored me asking about when I'd see him this week. I feel like he's ignoring me again.

Other things are just not right with him and the relationship, and I don't know how to tell him. Some of these things are: 1. After he dropped me off at my car at the end of one of our dates, as soon as I stepped out of the car and walked over to mine, he waved and drove away. It was past midnight in a parking lot and I was cleaning the snow off of my windshield, windows, and back window alone. I just felt this was inconsiderate and not very gentleman-like. 2. At restaurants, he asks for the bill before I've even finished half my plate. Again, I feel like this is inconsiderate and not something a gentleman would do. 3. He sort of hogs the conversation by talking about himself. It's hard for me to get a word in, and when I do, he seems like he can't wait for me to stop talking so he can say something. I don't mean to be mean, but it's mostly about him and how he's going to be an optometrist, his beliefs about certain issues, his likes and dislikes, etc. He also comes across as arrogant when he tells me that he thinks he is a better choice than most guys out there and that girls are lucky to date him. 4. He walks ahead of me in public and I feel in a way, embarrassed, and that he and I are out of tune. Once again, I feel like he's being disrespectful. 5. We both come from dysfunctional families. He grew up in a bad part of New York, and I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother with borderline personality disorder. He often blames his family problems for why he never contacts me and then tells me that his situation was worse than mine and he got out of it and didn't have the same "luxuries" I did. Him saying this was a problem for me because I told him nothing of my story besides my dad has a drinking problem. We spend a lot of time talking about him, so I feel like he's either 1.) Trying to make himself seem more tough or 2.) Trying to imply that I don't understand when I feel like he doesn't know how much I understand. 6. He was trying to tell me that seeing each other only once every few weeks is normal. I told him that it's not normal and it makes me upset. He kept trying to make me seem silly, and I finally told him that my friends think he's cheating on me because I never see him and don't like to see me this upset. He told me that my friends don't know what they're talking about because they don't know him and that I shouldn't listen to them because they'll only cause me drama. I was unimpressed with this because my friends know me well enough to know when I'm upset.

There are a few other things he does that are like the things I mentioned above, but I think the ones above do a good job of outlining how he is.

I want to end the relationship because I'm tired of his behavior. He tells me that I'm over-reacting whenever I talk about my feelings. Do you think I'm justified in wanting to end this relationship?

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