Okay so the thing is, my gf and I want to have a baby together eventually and I have a friend who has agreed to help me get pregnant. Well this friend keeps saying he will help me but he wants a romantic relationship with me if he helps me and I keep telling him that it's not going to happen that it will just be a friend helping a friend and he says it's way more intimate than that. So he expects to be with him and my gf. Well I am not going to do that. But he still wants to help me. I'm not sure how to get it through to him that he is just helping me and my gf have a child of our own and that is it, nothing more nothing less. He continuously asks me sexual questions and makes sexual comments about things all because he said he'd help me. Is it possible for a friend to help a friend have a baby and not have a relationship? I am bi and I have a gf and all I am asking is for someone to help me and my gf become mothers. Do you think he is making too big of a deal out of it and going overboard or is it just me? What are your opinions on the situation? I don't have the money for artificial insemination or anything like it so that it out of the question. Anyways, any advice or suggestions are appreciated. Thanks to those who contribute.
Do NOT take this 'friend' as a sperm donor. But don't do it in a way that rejects him if you want to remain friends. An easy way - because it is true - is to tell him that you and your GF decided to wait until you both are better off financially to support a baby. Babies are EXPENSIVE, TIME CONSUMING, and DEMANDING. Babies do NOT heal a rocky relationship. So my suggestion is to get your finances in order, make sure your relationship with your GF is secure, and bite the bullet and get artificial insemination. It is $300-500 an attempt. If a mother-to-be has fertility problems it might take many attempts to succeed, and therefore a high total price. BUT presumably YOU (or your GF) have normal fertility and so could succeed quickly. Alternatively, you might try adoption. Take care, and Good Luck!!
I honestly do not think he is going overboard at all as illogical as he may seem to you. Were he to impregnate you, that child, is biologically his as well as yours. Having a child and being a father is not small thing at all so I don't see it as going overboard to wanting to have a relationship with his biological child and its mother. What you're basically asking of him is to use his d!ck for his sperm and then to fck off and just forget about his son or daughter. Thing that I'm speculating though is whether he is just emotional about this or is taking advantage of the situation and using it to get you (and perhaps your gf) though you would probably be able to answer that more than me. Anyways, I have no idea how expensive invitro is but isn't there a way for you and your girlfriend to save up?
Do not have him help you because it will cause A LOT of problems once the baby actually arrives. I mean he's already giving you problems and nothing has been decided yet. If you don't have money for an artificial insemination you could always just ask another friend who is willing to help you, by NOT having s ex with you or your girlfriend. I know a lesbian couple who asked a male friend to help them and he provided sp er m in a turkey baster and she used that to get pregnant. I'm not joking, look it up. It was successful and they have a beautiful baby boy :)
Not really.. But I'm not saying that he can't be apart of the baby's life. What I am saying is that he wants a romantic relationship with me, he wants me to be his gf or wife or whatever but I refuse to be with him that way because I am already taken by an amazing girl. We are just asking for him to hep us be parents one day. I don't mind him being involved with the baby but I am NOT going to date him. That's the whole issue.
eh hes not a friend he just wants to have sex with you thats what im getting.... so say no i will find someone else like he dosent have to have sex with you to help you he just has to do his business in a cup and you buy something to make it easyer for you to put it in you know... but he dosnt seem like a true friend..
Oh I see, I understand better now. I agree with Kaheelee, I think you should find someone else. This guy can't seem to handle this for whatever reason he might have and will cause plenty of problems.