Commonly, the question asked is, "Should you be who you are or change for others?" But it's also important to look from the outside in too. Would you want others to be who they are, or would you prefer for them to change to best suit your needs and wants?
I honestly doubt anyone is truly, completely their self when they are around others. Everybody changes their attitude a little, their mannerism depending on who they are talking to, what, or how they speak, etc like say they were interacting with a waiter, or a cashier, or one's boss. You would not talk to them like you would talk to someone who you were close to. Most wouldn't go up to a stranger and tell that what they are wearing is ugly. On top of that, people are always complaining about being "judged' and such, if all people were completely honest, those people complaining about that, would have much more to complain about. I think it's just natural to change yourself a little around certain people, I'm a little different around my friends than I am around my boyfriend. With my boyfriend I will say many things bluntly and will show it when I am sad or angry, but with my friends I will try to bite down anger unless it were too great. If I were to be fully honest, I'm quite sure I would be banned from many places for saying what I think. I'm sure most people do have people who they can be completely real with and with those people, they can express whatever emotion they are feeling, or say what they truly think on a subject. I think it's ok if a person were not always fully honest, though I do prefer it myself if people were honest to me, however, I think with important subjects, the truth should always be given.
Well for me I have always been around a lot of people and can usually read them pretty good. Like people that are fake seem to be kinda of an unnatural feeling, like you can just tell there not being themselves. like when you first met someone your kinda nervous, that's understandable but that should pass. I have known a lot of fake people, like one friend I had long ago dressed like he was from the hood, acted and talked hood, he was a caucasian, and come to find out he was racist, he did all those things to not get his a*s kicked in the neighborhood. Like I have posted on a status before if you can't be real so how can you be a REAL friend. And why be fake in the first place, or unhonest about yourself in the first place? The truth will eventually come out and then what? I would have you rather be honest with me about something than lie about and pretend being someone your not cause the real you will come out in time. Any other questions? Did I clear it up for you?
Generally, I would rather them be honest as to who they are. I'd feel bad knowing that they were acting differently in order to make me happy. I'd honestly rather just accept the fact that we have nothing in common, or whatever. Then again, I think it also depends on the situation. Like, if hardcore dru.gs are involved, then I'd naturally want them to change that aspect of their lives.
I would rather they were themselves around me, to feel comfortable enough and trust me enough to just relax and be themselves with me, I don't want them to feel they have to change to suit me because they shouldn't have to feel that way and it doesn't make me a good person to make someone change or want someone to change.
Well chances are I liked them because of who they are and how they act so no i never want anyone to change who they are for me.... And I would never wanna change myself for anyone else... I am who I am n if some1 dosent like me then that's on them... I don't need anyone in my life who's gonna b like that..
If i'm myself around someone else, they should be themselves around me. Otherwise it's a waste of my time. For someone to hide who they really are, is just another way of calling them a lier. So i couldn't trust them as a friend if they can't even trust themselves.
I owuld rather some one be brutally honest and crush my self esteem for a week, than have someone lie to protect my feelings. I don't like it when people are not honest, they had might as well stop talking to me all together.
Yea, that's my mate Lauren. She is the most up herself, proud, irritating girl but I love her. Sure she can annoy me but I love we for her.. I wouldn't want her to change. She shouldn't have to :)
I just wonder... Could you accept someone who just has a lot of friction towards you? That everything they do would just piss you off but they can't help it 'cause that's who they are?
Yeah that clears it up :) I'm usually wary of these kinds of judgments 'cause they start off biased but you seem to be pretty spot on about it :P So thank you :)
So it's just straight up honesty? :) Even if who they are annoys, frustrates, angers, infuriates, agitates, (running out of adjectives...) you? :)
HONEST without a doubt...you are who you say you are...your word can be trusted...rather than discover down the road
Maybe you can help me out with this other question... How do you arrive to the conclusion that someone is fake? :)
Yep. :P I just have to accept it or move along. All off those adjectives define a close friend of mine.
I'd rather them be honest to who they are. I don't expect people to mend to my or others expectations.
If someone can't be 100 with me they may as well not waste my time, I can't stand fakeness grrrrr
Well since you say you don't expect it... Would you prefer it? :)
That's awesome that you do that :) Seriously, high five :P
Welcome and cool. Yeah a lot of people are biased.
That's a valid and indisputable point :)
I would rather someone to be honest.