What do you think of my poem draft?

I lay awake with no where to go. I turn to my left and See nothing but a hole. A Black lifeless hole.

For that crack is filled with Nothing but with my soul. Its dark, And waiting to be lit, with the fire that Burns so deep inside my heart.

For that sight saddens me and so Subtly reminds me of my slowly Dying past.

I turn to my right to get away of all the Flashing memoires that Show the real me. I see a bright colored Field with nature showing of With its beauty, and the happy nation That’s being presented to me.

Again it saddens me for I do Not know which way to lead. Should I just stay with my prior self? And fall into a lonely abise, or should I join the happy people with there Regular lives?

Before I know it I’m slowly Leaving life itself. Before I think about it I don’t have to make a decision because I have been departed from life and now sitting With him.

Answer #1

I think its good :)

Answer #2

In all honesty, I think it’s a good poem for a beginner, but not great. I think it’s a little cliche’ But keep writing and I’m sure your words will become more real, rather than so concrete and forced.

Answer #3

BOO!! BOO!!!

Answer #4

That was so nice. If you ever put out a book of poems I would buy about 1.7 million dollers worth of that book.!!!

Answer #5

BEAUTIFUL!!! bravo,bravo

Answer #6

It’s very good, but kind of exorbitant with the word ‘I’…

Answer #7

you SUCK thats terebel BOO!!!

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

KitabDeal.com

Books, Education, Personal Development

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community

Advisor

Silverhints

Poetry, Shayari, Ghazal

Advisor

Great-Essays.com

Academic Writing Services, Custom Paper Writing, Online Essay Services