Why do people enable bad behavior?

Why do they complain about the person they are enabling? Especially if the action may bring harm, school failure, distructive behavior and confusion to a child that is in the middle. I just can't understand this.

9 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 9

Because they don't know how to disable the behavior

ANSWER #2 of 9

i have no idea

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ANSWER #3 of 9

It's easier to complain about bad behaviour than it is to fix it, that is why people complain.

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ANSWER #4 of 9

Psychologist Eric Berne makes a good argument that addicts, enablers, and rescuers are all roles we play. The transactions that play out here give us the psychological strokes we need. The enabler and the rescuer both need the addict or their game falls apart. He called these transactions games.

He theorized that groups like Alcoholics Anonymous work because they take alcoholics from one role in the same game to another. Since they already know the game it is easier for them to assume a new role in that game than to learn an entirely new game or to learn to live with fewer games. He further observed that in small towns where Alcoholics Anonymous groups run out of alcoholics to save members often start drinking again. No longer being able to play the role of rescuer they go back to the role of alcoholic.

According to Berne's theory enablers enable bad behavior because they psychologically get something out of it.

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ANSWER #5 of 9

bad behaviors usually will be as a response for a bit on themselfs or emotional deficiency or situation of revenge for society or as a denial of reality in which they live;Or, as some thought dump for what inside his heart;even to prove the self

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ANSWER #6 of 9

Unfortunately, all these are correct. This person keeps complaining about the situation, yet allows the other person to continue to walk on them and rule. so person 1 then allows person 2 to come in their home and bring all of the bad things and bad people in. There is a child involved and I worry about the child as well. I just don't want to hear the complaints from person 1 if she will not tell person 2 to get lost.

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ANSWER #7 of 9

I like this answer. It gives a light on things. thank you.

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ANSWER #8 of 9

I don't know how this question got under computer tech either.sorry!

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ANSWER #9 of 9

They are rewarded in some way. Say a kid throws a tantrum. Mother gives him a chocolate to keep quiet. The kid is quiet. Now mother is rewarded because an unpleasant thing goes away. But the mother has also rewarded the bad behavior.

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