is it bad i want people to call me fucked up? is it bad i like to be degraded?

i feel terrible when people called me fucked up. I want people to call me that because i dont like when the compliment me it makes me feel worse than when they say im fucked up. I believe i dont deserve anything and i believe if enough people say im fucked up then i must be then i have a good reason to do fucked up things because im just a fuck up.

well first off, you’re not a fuck up, want to know why? because you’re sitting here asking if it’s o for you to feel this way.. so obviously in your mind there is a tiny part that knows it is not o for people to degrade you. Many times in my life i felt confused and i felt like who i was, was wrong, and at the end of the day who you are is just that- who you are. And if you are ok with who you are then why not take a compliment? What do you feel when someone compliments you? and what do you feel when someone degrades you?

i know its not normal to want people to degrade me and im not okay with who i am i hate me thats why i wont take a compliment because they all are wrong, and when someone degrades me at least i know its true because it is. I hate when people say you are skinny, i hate people lieing to me. Thats what their compliments are, lies.

why do you feel like they are lies? do you feel like you are not skinny? perhaps you need to try to look at yourself in a more positive way.

It’s different, but understandable.

i dont need to look at myself in a positive way i look at myself for who i really am, for all my positives and all my flaws. Sure i have a pretty face my body is not much to look at. That as just merely and example of a compliment people say. I believe no one can be the “best” and there is always room for improvement. I dont blind myself with false hopes and try to sugar coat life.

I hate to break it to you, Rose, but your body is just fine. With, yes, room for improvement, just like the rest of us. Anyway, this is not really about your body. It’s about doing what you say you want to do: Seeing yourself (all of you, inside and out) as you are. You can’t do that and, at the same time, think that you’re all fucked up and worthy of degradation. You can’t do that and think that every compliment is a lie and every insult is true.

Try this: Sit with a friend and ask them to compliment you, and to keep complimenting you once every 20-30 seconds, giving you a chance to react (but not reply) in between. They can repeat the same compliment sometimes, and say new ones sometimes. They can say only true compliments, or throw in some blatantly false ones, too. Your part is just to listen, and notice what feelings and thoughts come up for you. Giggling or crying or yawning or raging (or whatever) are all ok. If you keep it up for 15 minutes, you’ll find that your feelings abut this stuff are not frozen in some permanent state (I don’t know how they’ll change, but they will). And you’ll learn something about what it is in you that both fears and desires praise, and what it is that craves and hates degradation.

its ok..everyone has diffrent things that turn us on..dont feel bad about it its all good..dirty talk helps sometimes..and if you dont take it to heart , isuppose that means your secure with yourself..

it doesnt turn me on…

I feel the same. It’s kinda weird why I want people to do that. I never used to feel emotions either but what helped me through this is I went to see a councilor about it all and before that I was writing a diary about everything I did a lot of things to escape this place as well and I did want people to call me nasty names because I felt I wasn’t good enough for people

Good for you, Daisie, that you looked for help and didn’t just suffer through it alone. How are you doing with it now?

That sounds like a self esteem issue