What if I'm not allowed to date but really like this guy?

I never said to go behind her mother’s back. I’m saying that young relationships are a good thing because you learn how to interact with others on different levels and you say, and I quote, “ by ‘doing things’ that you don’t need to know anything about until later in life.” That is the mental attitude that causes so much confusion. The reason “kids today” rush into things is because they don’t know what they are. Adults don’t tell kids what sex really is. They tell them worst case scenarios to scare them into staying with the herd, like dogs with sheep. What they should do is tell them everything. They tell them nothing about sex itself or what are some ways to do it safer and better. They only preach about the negative effects. It’s eerily close to brainwashing. I think this girl needs to have a mature and OPEN conversation with her mother. My parents know everything I’ve ever done with a girl and they’re okay with it because I’m being responsible and mature. I’m still a virgin and I’ve clearly expressing my intention of staying one for some time and they’ve accepted my relationship and what takes place in it without trepidation and with full consent.

Many parents don’t allow their children to date until they’re sixteen for a reason. First of all, convince yourself that you’re not in love - you just really like this guy. Second of all, respect your mom’ wishes and realize that she knows what she’s doing. She might change their minds if you prove yourself to be a responsible daughter, but in the meantime, there’s nothing wrong to be just friends with this guy. Friends can have fun, too, you know.

Respect what your mom says. If you really like this guy, ask to invite him to some of the family events. Be really open with your parents and you might get them to open up, but one of the worst things that you could do is to go behind their back.

I was a relatively good kid, and even the stuff that I did I wish that I could take most of it back. As much as it seems that your mom is just trying to “ruin your life” she is trying to make sure that you protect yourself from some of the more painful or emotionally scarring experiences that you will face.

I disagree with xiigzag. I am young myself. I had my first serious girlfriend when I was fifteen and do not regret it at all. We went pretty far, but we dated for two years and didn’t start doing “things” til after a year. I think young love is an experience that should be valued. It trains you for having complex and real relationships when your parents think your “ready” whatever that means. I know some twelve year olds who are more mature that some thirty year olds. You just have to be mature with the relationship and not take things too fast.