Need a friend

Well, I AM at my wits end tonight. My stepdaughter whom I've raised since age 11 has suffered form anexiroa for 7 years now. She has been in residential treatment, countless doctors, therapist, nutrientist, you name it we've tried it. She has had feeding tubes in the nose, and stomach during these 7 years, hospitalized etc...almost died. I have talked, done ALL I could, but I am used up!! She is in school, and is 23 years old. I have prayed, and prayed but I cannot stand being around her. I am contantanty gripping to my husband, Poor man, he is a wonderful man, but for the first few years he was in denial about her problem. I am 60 years old, and just do not know where to turn. Insurance WILL NOT pay for another in house, and we do not have the money to send her off. I fix her "meals" and freeze them. She now weighs 83 lbs. and has just been diagnosed with osterporsis. JUST great. She does not drive as she ran a red light about a year ago and put two people in the hospital. She lives in an effiency apt on campus and her classes are vitually out her front door. I love my husband more than anything, but she/this is tearing us apart. Oh yes, counseling we have had our fill. You know, it is good, but only works when one will listen. I HATE feeling like I do. There was a time that I loved her SO much. I still do, but I've had enough. I have two daughters from my first marriage that are in their thirties. They have become resentful, and even my best friend as they see how she is killing me. God help me. Her mother died from taking prescription drugs when she was 7. I do know that if she keeps this up, she will die. You CANNOT watch 24/7. I caught her draining her stomach feeding tube when she had it. I just fear that when she dies it will be the end of my marriage. Anyone out there with a thought for me? I know I sound so selfish, but if anyone has lived or is living this, PLEASE respond.

4 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 4

I cant possibly imagine how bad life must be to you..but she is 23 now and she needs to take care of things on her own its time for you and your husband to let it go...im sorry to say but she knows what will happen if she continues on this way so its time to let her be its like an addiction and I don't know if uve seen intervention but maybe thats what she need you all to let her know what she has dun to hurt you all and what shes doing to hurt herself and you just need to keep prayn keep prayn for her and pray that the lord heals her in time other wise this is a poem that a good friend of mine moms gave to me along time ago...its by pastor TD Jakes...
There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ...

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself
and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for you!

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ...

LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"
___
please just let her go...goodluck and god bless your family


ANSWER #2 of 4

I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. The amount of guilt I've felt for putting my parents through my own issues is unbelievable. But believe me, she cannot help it. Which doesnt really help you much, but it is what it is. You cannot help someone who refuses help. There's nothing you can do at this point. Perhaps she doesnt even care if she dies. And I know how selfish that sounds, but she cannot help it. Try counseling. For yourself and your husband... You cannot change the situation. And both of you may need to come to terms with that. There are low cost places that will accommodate you...

What happened to make my friend sick like this?

ANSWER #3 of 4

Hi Fau, my name is jessiicapatriciax3x3, but you can call me Jessica. I'm so sorry that I do not have advice for you because I honestly don't know what to say. I've never gone through something like that myself or with someone else. I just would like to wish you luck because it sounds pretty serious. If she needs to pass, she will, but keep high hopes and do everything you possibly can. Good luck and God bless!! xoxo

why???!
ANSWER #4 of 4

I've never been threw this, but I know people that have. its avery difficlut time and theres only so much you can do, its very hard to get them go eat.
just be by there side with whatever they decide to choose even if its the worst.
but keep trying more, look online for like rehabs that have anorexic people there wher ethey make them become healthier...its you young to die.

hope shes well and ill be praying for her<333333333

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