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my wife hates sex

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I have been married 21 years, my wife hates sex, we have 2 wonderful children. I would like sex daily, she can go for months without it. the only way she can O is by oral and when i talk her into letting me do that it roars like thunder and happens very quickly.. however yearly we take a trip, just us and i take her to a male review, one of those where she can touch the guys anywhere she pleases,(and she does) thats the one time a year she actually gets horny, and that lasts for a couple of days..she had a hysterectomy a couple years back her HRT has a trace amount of testosterone in it to improve libido..she says that sex is just not important to her. I am beginning to think she doesnt like me. when i ask her to tell the doctor she gets pissed and refuses to bring it up to him because its not a problem to her.. any advice?