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How to deal with my life when it sucks?

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im 22 years old. im 5'8 200 lbs.I have my ged and I work a barely over minimum wage job. I have no boyfriend. I have no car. I dont even know how to drive. I live with my grandparents as I have all my life. I havent seen my mom since I was 7. my dad cant stand me. Im fat & ugly. I spend most my time on the pc after work living in this fantasy world. I cry myself to sleep every night. I just feel so worthless. I have no friends. no money. no one I can talk to, because they just dont seem to want to listen or understand. if I say I want to see a therapist they'd just laugh at me and call me crazy and tell me to go in my room. I have no friends to take me anywhere. Suicide crosses my mind at least twice a day. the only thing that keeps me from slitting my own wrists is the thought of actually being married and having a beautiful little girl that I always wanted. but its like thats never going to happen. really, who wants a fat ugly uneducated cow like me? not to mention I have these big ugly keloids on my ears from when I got a 2nd piercing. I really just want to die!

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