What can i do if my girlfriend's parents won't let her date me?

I am a 16 year old guy, and I have been dating my 16 year old girlfriend for the past 4 months. We get along great and all, but her parents are EXTREMELY religious and will not let her date! I cannot have a normal relationship with her because we have to keep our relationship secret. My friends, and my family have all told me to move on and theyd try to hook me up with somebody that can date. I explain to them all the time that I do not want to move on..and they understand..which is great. Countless people I have told this story to... said "ask yourself, is it really worth it?" and I am sick of hearing that over and over again because IT IS WORTH IT! I just want to have a normal relationship with my girlfriend. Alright, now to my question. Would it be ok for me to talk to her parents, discuss our situation, and tell them how I feel..and ask them if I can date their daughter? My girlfriend told me that its up to me wether or not to do that. Her parents know that me and her are "friends" and all. I was just thinking that if I talked to them, they would see that I have enough guts to tell them that and maybe they would let her date me, I mean her mom already likes me. But then I look at it as a game a russain roulet...either her mother is going to say "yes" "no.. I dont want her dating for a while" "no..stay away from my daughter" or "no, I think I need to supervize you guys when you are together." I dont know what to do, I really need to do something though because I cannot stand sneaking around to hide our relationship. Is it really worth it speaking to her mother about it? If it is, what should I say? I really need help here. I don't know how much longer I can go keeping our relationship secret from her parents :( PLEASE HELP ME!

9 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 9

my girlfriend's parents were extremely restrictive too. Didn't like me at all. Just visit them, be nice and polite. been four years now, and they're now okay with me. Be patient if you love your girl, and don't offend them.


ANSWER #2 of 9

The truth shall set you free.

Be upfront and honest with her parents. Tell them you care about their daughter and you want their permission before proceeding further. Tell them you will respect their daughter, and only want companionship for the time being. They may ask to accompany you on a date or something. If you really like the girl, agree with them and perhaps you will gain their trust.

If her parents are completely unreasonable and won't allow you to see their daughter, than I think it is time you decide whether secretly continuing the relationship is worth it. Or perhaps you could wait another year, if you think it's worth it.

Most people are reasonable when someone treats them with respect and acts courteously. Continuing to lie, though, will only make them distrustful of you later when they do find out.

Best of luck!

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ANSWER #3 of 9

Im 14 my girlfriends 15 I love her with all my heart been datinf for two years but all of a souden her mom and grandma think where haveing sex where not so they cast me out.she sneaks the phon sometimes and calls me but now her grandma called my dad and yelled at him so hes changing the numbers.She has my email should I wait tell she is 17 to see her?

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ANSWER #4 of 9

i think its good if you talk to her parents.it would be the best thing to do.just let her mom know you love her would never break her heart.well now its up to you...if her parents like you then that's great!

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ANSWER #5 of 9

i got the same problem.. but she isnt religious.. she just wont let her date. but i reallly realllly like her. and dont want to lose her

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ANSWER #6 of 9

I have the same exact problem. Just last night i went to my gf's house and as soon as I saw her, I knew she'd been crying. Upon asking her what was wrong she wouldn't tell me, but I guessed it..her parents said we couldn't date anymore. Her dad's told me before about this "don't awaken love before it's time" stuff from the bible. Personally, I can't really remember God telling anyone not to love some one but he's one of those hardcore fanatic christians so there's no persuading him. Thankfully her grandma is pissed about the situation and is all for helping us continue the relationship in secret. So there's a plus. But yeah idk I talked to the guy about it. So atleast I was upfront and honest, but now that that doesn't work..he's left me no choice but to resort to secrecy.

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ANSWER #7 of 9

Im 15 and in the same situation. I say wait it out. Its worth it I know. But when you talk it out to her parents they will see you as anti-religious and that is a major downfall. This is why I dont like Christianity, especially the Mormon faith. It makes no sense. All I can do is say " Earn the respect from her family, wait it out, they wont like a non-religous figure in their daughters life" . Dallasman has the right idea, but they wont change their mind. Religion ( especially the one that focuses on pre-marital sex) is a hard thing to persuade. Because most religious fanatics are trying to be better than other religious people.

Email me ... Elinthial@aol.com

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ANSWER #8 of 9

Hey i have the same exact problem except i'm the girl that has to hid my man it's really hard but dont give up it's been worth it for me maybe it will be for you to ;)

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ANSWER #9 of 9

Hey Honey,

I say state your presence. I don't mean make force yourself on her parents, but I would say find the church tehy go to and go, show them that you're responsible. Do things that make them think that you would be the perfect type of guy for their daughter to date (at least when she's allowed to date). They might change their minds, knowing that she's going to have to date eventually, mine as well let her date knowing she's with someone good, responsible, and trustworthy. Good Luck!

Love Always,

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