So im 19 years old, and live with my parents. Im rarely home now a days because of school and work. So in my mind im always thinking well my mom must be proud of me, but when I get home or try to hug her kiss her or just be with her she finds a way to argue with me or push me away. She doesn't say I LOVE YOU HUNNY.... All she says is WASH THE DISHES!! Like she insults me all the time, she thinks says mean things to me all the time and IDK who else to turn too. I LOVE MY MOM she's my everything. Every little thing i do to succeed, im doing for her. So she can love me and be proud. She always thinks im having SEX or being crazy when im with my boyfriend. But that's not true. She loves to insult me and my boyfriend. Each time that we argue she threatened me that she will kik me out of the house. does she hate me =/ PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
sorry for the long question
I'm sure there is a lot more to your story than you can tell us in a single paragraph. I will guess that your mom is trying to give you some tough love to straighten you out. Your mom has exactly as much power over you as you give her. An adult should not need validation from their parents. You are going to her wanting affection and compassion so the power she has over you is whether she gives it to you or not. Stop seeking her approval. Whatever she says be entirely rational. When she is critical thank her for her advice and tell her that you will try to keep that in mind in the future. If she insults you than say that you are sorry she feels that way. When she points out your mistakes remind her that you can not change the past, you can only learn from it and that you are dealing with the consequences of your actions. When she says something you disagree with tell her that you can understand how it might seem that way to her but that is not how you see it. In other words, you should be the adult in the relationship. When you become the adult you mom can either keep being childish which would in its own way be pathetic or she can start acting and treating you like an adult.
Yes all the time. I ask her why does she treat me so badly, and she always says BECAUSE YOU BEHAVE LIKE A CHILD AND BRING THE FAMILY PROBLEMS. But like seriously I don't make any drama, im too busy, especially now that I have college and work to think about. Like once I talk to her she stays happy and when I do a mistake she comes at me with all her anger once again. And she's always saying that im trying to be smart with her a talking back but I don't. That's why when im home im always locked in my room so I won't have to confront her in any way.
maybe she just wants the best for you and when you screw up or when your doing something bad she yells and she gets mad thats maybe how she handles it maybe thats her way of showing she loves you its tough love.... maybe get her when shes happy and in a good mood thennn talk to her have a heart to heart n show her how much it hurts you.... like i feel she handles it wrong like instead of talking she yells she keep reminding her you love her and maybe now n then go to lunch with her or to the movies or doing something nice to show you care
You are 19 years old. You are an adult. If you cannot stand your mother being "mean" to you. Then why don't you just move out? I mean you have a job right you making money, get yourself an apartment or something. Your mom is problably acting the way she is because she doesn't know how to act now that your are a grown WOMAN. Try talking to her about it. Tell her how you feel and how her behavior hurts you. If she doesn't accept the fact that she is hurting you, move out. You don't need to be in a negative environment.
Have you tried having a real talk with her about the things she does and how it makes you feel? Is she under alot of stress?
Honestly I think it may just be time to move out on your own
I so agree with you.