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Jim and Fred problems

So, there’s this guy, I’m call him Jim to make it easier. And there’s another guy… We’ll call him Fred. So, Fred has always liked me, I have known him since I was a baby, and I went through a little phase of liking Fred to… So, we sorta did stuff, now everytime I see Fred, he wants to do stuff and I can’t say no. I feel mean.

Then there’s Jim. I really really really like Jim, like more than anyone ever… And I can’t do anything about it cause of Fred.

Am I just over reacting? And should I just stop things with Fred even though it’s going to hurt him?

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Answer #1

well if you no longer have feelings for fred than yes stop things with him. the longer you let it go on the more hurt he is going to feel. and I would recomend you wait a while between dropping fred and starting a relationship with jim as itwould hurt him if he knows the next day you’re hooking up with jim. having said that, do not stay with fred just to keep him happy. you need to do whats right for yourself, and in the long run it will be the right thing for fred too. all the best mate!

Answer #2

I would say — It’s time to upgrade to Jim…

You’ve been with Fred a long long time, and it’s just been easy for you because you’ve known each other for so long — almost like friends with benefits if you understand that.

You like fred, you respect him, which is why you feel mean if you dont say no — BUT, if you really like Jim, and you want to persue that, you’re gonna have to let Fred go and that means you’re going to have to explain it to him, and if he gets upset, which he will, dont take it personally, and NOW, don’t be mean — If you were friends before and for so long, I would hope that if he’s your real friend too that he would get over it — He might not… but…

I dont think yu’re over reacting at all — you sound like a caring person who’s concerned about not making Fred hurt – But, I think, in the end, if you’re REALLY wanting to be with Jim, you HAVE to stop things with Fred and hopefully that can happen in as painless a way possible for both of you… You have something there and have had it for a long time — it wont be easy, but once you make up your mind, stick to it…

Good luck

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