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I have always had a strange relationship with my father. I am one of 3 girls and am in the middle. I am the only one pursuing an education past highschool and have many more goals. I believe that my father treats me differently for this reason. I am accomplishing a lot in my life right now and everytime I talk to him about things that I am doing, he doesnt want to talk about it much. Most of the time he acts like he doesn't care or laughs like its funny. This makes me feel really bad. I have found myself searching for validation from other men over the years because of these issues with my dad. He will spend ample time with my other sisters and yet when I ask him to do something with me alone he comes up with some excuse. He often insults me and berates me as well. My mother thinks he has borderline personality disorder which may be some of the issues. I would like to understand how I can have a relationship with my dad like my sisters do and why he treats me this way...
He may feel in some way that he is losing you to a different world than the one he knows...and in some ways he is. Don't change your plans or alter your goals, but you might try engaging him around the activities or topics that you did in the past or that you think he's more comfortable with. When a member of a family attain educational goals beyond the usual standards in the family, it is often the case that there are, at least temporarily, tensions as others are forced to adjust. Try to communicate your continued love and interest, but don't be kept from what's in your own best interest.
To answer your questions icetea2, no he did not get past highschool-in fact the career that I am pursuing would have prob been the same career that he would have pursued had he gone to college. I have not done anything "wrong "as a kid either, pretty good-talked back some, but I was always a good student and hard worker. When I discuss these issues with other people they say that he mau be intimidated by me. This is difficult for me to grasp because I am his daughter and I would WANT my child to surpass things that I didn't get to accomplish in life...
