Should I have a baby?

Dear Lovemyboy, I do not think that you will even listen o me since you already have a non- realistic view in your head of how life is…It is harder to change a belief then it is an idea….you seem to believe what you are saying which in it self show how immature you are and how little of life you have really seem and experienced. None the less here is goes all I would ask is that you at least read what it is I have to say because I do care If I didn’t care I would not take the time out of my day to be writing this and trust me between work and college there are a lot of other things I could be doing right now then answering your question. My answer is simple in is complexity DO NOT HAVE A BABY!!! WHY??? Simple because you your self are still a child and because it is not fair for the child that you would bare or your parents. You are a beautiful Child of God and you deserve to have a childhood and to live it to its fullest becoming a mother is not an easy or simple task it is easier said then done and appears a lot easier at a distance then in reality it is. I have never been a mother and so It is not like I no exactly what I am saying I am almost eighteen years old ( ten more days) and so I have lived a tad bit longer then you and so I have a better idea of life and how it works just from Experience. Life is like this is, is complicated it really is as are people. Your parents are your parent and yours alone ( well yours and any siblings you may or may not have) a parents role in a Childs life is to provide for that child not the child of the child it is not their job right nor responsibility to take care of any child that you may bare. Nor is it ethical and morally it is very questionable and an insult to the honor of both you and your parents. (Are you following me still?)

Having sex is complicated I know it may not seem like it but really it is…it was designed to create life….and sadly it is used more as a tool for fun and pleasure these days…which it is under marriage and should only be done under marriage and at an appropriate age. 15 years old is too young far too young. You have not experienced enough life to understand what you are getting your little self into. Right now any time you need anything who gets it for you? Who feeds you? Who clothes you? Who takes care of you? Who helps you? Who do you run to when you need help or are in trouble? Your parents they play that role in your life…right now any way they will not always one day you will play their role for some one else and their role( your parents) is going to change. You have an entire life to play the ROLE of MOM. Why do it now….when you can not provide for that child in the way you should? So you want to be a Mother well that is great it really is but do it when you are ready and, do it when you can give that child a great life one they deserve. You have a child right now and you will never go to college and so you will not be able to get a good job that pays well. You will always have to struggle to provide and as a single parent (the boy will not stay with you he is to young to comprehend being a father sorry to say but it is true) it is a hard life. I know people who have kids as teens and they do not have it easy. Do you really want to do that, to not only you but your child as well? You want to be a Mother because it is what God has designed us, WOMEN to do…and we are great at it. There is nothing at all wrong with wanting to do play the role you where designed and created for it…it is so much a part of you as breathing I remember being 15years old I wanted a child just as badly( HELL I wanted one a 10) as you are…but not only did and do I want A child ( I still do) but I wanted some thing more I want to be a good MOTHER….not just a mother but a GOOD one and I want to give that child a life unlike anything I have ever had. Unlike you I have not had parents who have been there for me….and who played their roles the way that they where suppose to do. My life has not been as easy as yours is…I have been faced with many different choices you may never have to face and I thank God for that as a child you should not face them and as a young Adult you shouldn’t. I believe that God places feelings in us one being a desire to bare children and a desire to care of something it is what helps us get through life and what makes strong ….we endure a lot…such as child birth which is painful on top of the rejection we will face as a parent from our children and the many trials life puts us through there is a reason why we are not like men…and that makes us a lot stronger and able. Be proud to be a WOMEN and take pride in that God made us to bare children and enabled us to endure. BE proud in who you are and show some respect to your body….don’t give your self away and to just any one you are a tool in much greater hands that of a mighty God who fearfully and wonderfully nit you in your mothers womb we are merely vassals used for a great purpose. Be a good mother wait until you are ready in every way not just emotionally. If not does it for your self do it for your child?

Dear Lovemyboy, I do not think that you will even listen o me since you already have a non- realistic view in your head of how life is…It is harder to change a belief then it is an idea….you seem to believe what you are saying which in it self show how immature you are and how little of life you have really seem and experienced. None the less here is goes all I would ask is that you at least read what it is I have to say because I do care If I didn’t care I would not take the time out of my day to be writing this and trust me between work and college there are a lot of other things I could be doing right now then answering your question. My answer is simple in is complexity DO NOT HAVE A BABY!!! WHY??? Simple because you your self are still a child and because it is not fair for the child that you would bare or your parents. You are a beautiful Child of God and you deserve to have a childhood and to live it to its fullest becoming a mother is not an easy or simple task it is easier said then done and appears a lot easier at a distance then in reality it is. I have never been a mother and so It is not like I no exactly what I am saying I am almost eighteen years old ( ten more days) and so I have lived a tad bit longer then you and so I have a better idea of life and how it works just from Experience. Life is like this is, is complicated it really is as are people. Your parents are your parent and yours alone ( well yours and any siblings you may or may not have) a parents role in a Childs life is to provide for that child not the child of the child it is not their job right nor responsibility to take care of any child that you may bare. Nor is it ethical and morally it is very questionable and an insult to the honor of both you and your parents. (Are you following me still?)

Having sex is complicated I know it may not seem like it but really it is…it was designed to create life….and sadly it is used more as a tool for fun and pleasure these days…which it is under marriage and should only be done under marriage and at an appropriate age. 15 years old is too young far too young. You have not experienced enough life to understand what you are getting your little self into. Right now any time you need anything who gets it for you? Who feeds you? Who clothes you? Who takes care of you? Who helps you? Who do you run to when you need help or are in trouble? Your parents they play that role in your life…right now any way they will not always one day you will play their role for some one else and their role( your parents) is going to change. You have an entire life to play the ROLE of MOM. Why do it now….when you can not provide for that child in the way you should? So you want to be a Mother well that is great it really is but do it when you are ready and, do it when you can give that child a great life one they deserve. You have a child right now and you will never go to college and so you will not be able to get a good job that pays well. You will always have to struggle to provide and as a single parent (the boy will not stay with you he is to young to comprehend being a father sorry to say but it is true) it is a hard life. I know people who have kids as teens and they do not have it easy. Do you really want to do that, to not only you but your child as well? You want to be a Mother because it is what God has designed us, WOMEN to do…and we are great at it. There is nothing at all wrong with wanting to do play the role you where designed and created for it…it is so much a part of you as breathing I remember being 15years old I wanted a child just as badly( HELL I wanted one a 10) as you are…but not only did and do I want A child ( I still do) but I wanted some thing more I want to be a good MOTHER….not just a mother but a GOOD one and I want to give that child a life unlike anything I have ever had. Unlike you I have not had parents who have been there for me….and who played their roles the way that they where suppose to do. My life has not been as easy as yours is…I have been faced with many different choices you may never have to face and I thank God for that as a child you should not face them and as a young Adult you shouldn’t. I believe that God places feelings in us one being a desire to bare children and a desire to care of something it is what helps us get through life and what makes strong ….we endure a lot…such as child birth which is painful on top of the rejection we will face as a parent from our children and the many trials life puts us through there is a reason why we are not like men…and that makes us a lot stronger and able. Be proud to be a WOMEN and take pride in that God made us to bare children and enabled us to endure. BE proud in who you are and show some respect to your body….don’t give your self away and to just any one you are a tool in much greater hands that of a mighty God who fearfully and wonderfully nit you in your mothers womb we are merely vassals used for a great purpose. Be a good mother wait until you are ready in every way not just emotionally. If not does it for your self do it for your child?

I’m not here to critizice. When a very young girl wants a baby… well, that statement will always invite negative criticism, as you have seen. Do you really care for babies that much? Do you want to give that baby the best advantages in life that you can? Then, I only suggest that your mature thinking about everything be in order first.

If it helps you in making your decision at all, here may be some things to maturely consider in deciding…

In being as mature as an adult to plan for a baby, have you given thought about a stable father for the baby, or would the father end up be faced with legal charges for statutory rape of a minor? He could end up in prison for a long time because of his actions. This might deprive the baby of a stable family to grow up in and the real love of a father as well.

Have you discussed the issue with your parents and not just “assumed” that they would care for your infant child, “and” you. If you have not at this point, in many cases some parents rebel and throw their daughter out in the street with her baby. Then what? When my wife was very young, this very thing happened to her. The glory of having her first baby was immediately thrust into extreme hardship. She had thought it was as easy as just having a baby, and by the time the reality of the situation hit her… it was just too late. She found herself in the street with a new baby and a suitcase. She never saw her family again.

If you are not planning on getting married first, and you are legally under age, and child welfare finds out that you have had a baby out of wedlock at your age, if they feel that the baby cannot be provided for by you, as the mother, they could legally come in and take that baby away from you…permanently ! Then you have given birth to a baby, and the baby ends up with no real mother, and not real father at all and you could end up with a lot of court battles just to get visitations of your own child…if you were lucky.

Of course, these are a lot of “what ifs”… but being mature enough to face having a baby also means, of course, being mature enough to properly plan ahead for one. It simply takes facing all the issues maturely and ensuring that none of the bad stuff can possibly happen to a baby that you could really love above everything.

I wish you luck in your final decision. I hope it is as maturely thought through as you seem to be capable of. The people that have criticized you are actually the people who really care. They just don’t want to see you have a really loving baby and then have it ripped from your arms legally never to see it again in your life.

I think you have a lot of good advices above but because you’re only 15 and going through your rebellious stage, I assume you’e thinking you know what’s best for you. I’m going to get down to the nitty gritty.

Give yourself a chance. Go and sleep over at your friend’s house for a week or two. Ask her to allow you to take care of her baby while you are there. She can assist you (though I believe she needs assistant from her Mother) but you will have to do everything as if this was your baby. You wake up at night, you do the diaper changing, feeding, cleaning, skip school if the baby is sick. ect… (There are hundreds of other sacrifices)

Do this for a few weeks. I can guarantee you that you will change your mind after these few weeks. You’ll be so relieved when you go back home and realize that your life is pretty damn good without a baby. I think the idea of having a baby is wonderful but when you really have one, it’s different. Example: the idea of having a dog is wonderful but when you actually have the responsibilities of owning one, it sucks. I bet your friend is not telling you the bad side to having a baby. You’ll have to just see it for yourself. If anything, your friend is now envying you! Be the baby’s God Mother instead. Be an Auntie. I can honestly tell you that being a Aunt is wonderful because you can do all of the fun stuff with a child but you don’t have the responsibilities of being a parent. I’m 24 and I’m everyone’s favorite Auntie. I get to buy them what they WANT (not need) and just enjoy them for a few hours or over the weekend but I can just take them home and get back to my regular life on the weekdays. It’s the best of both worlds!

Give yourself a chance. Give yourself a chance… that’s all I can tell you. Don’t take our comments slightly. You should take it seriously and really think about it. You still have so much to live for. You can say that adults have the same problems as young mothers do too but the experience is totally different. I saw my teenage friends having babies. I saw the good things but was also open-minded enough to see how much they were missing out. Of course they won’t trade their babies for anything else in this world but they do say that if they can do it again, they would have that baby when their a lot older.

I hope you make the right choices and really do go and spend a few weeks with your friend. You don’t have to thank me right now.

Heres an idea- Go talk to your family, and ask them what they think of you having a baby. Ask them if they would support you financially. I can guarantee any parents, whould not be excited, thrilled, or in favor of their 15 year old daughter having a baby. Why do you think they wouldnt be okay with it? Because you are still a child! There is a reason a child shouldnt have a baby.

If you care about your future children at all- You will wait until you are financially stable, educated, and are mature enough to have a baby.

Sure other teens are having babies- But do you really think they are happy? They just gave up their whole teenage life to this baby. They cant just have a baby and throw it at their parents to take care of- Its their own responsibility.

A baby needs 24/7 care. Everyday all day- Until that baby turns 18- its YOUR responsibility.

Adults who struggle financially with a baby have other things you dont have. They are emotionally stable, some are educated, and know a little bit about the world. THEY ARE NOT A CHILD. Its not JUST about money. And most of them have the support of a spouse.

Most young children who want babies… want babies because they have a need to be loved, or some emotional void to fill. Maybe talk to your family about seeing a therapist if you think this is you.

-I hope you consider my words, before you make a decision to bring a child into this world. Would it really be fair to your baby if you couldnt give it your best?

the reason why its wise for children 2 w8 2 have children is so they can get there life sorted out, there career live life as much as you possibly can because believe me, when you have children your life is basicaly over.Im 18 an I’ve wanted children since I was 13 but im waiting im in a stable relationship and im engaged, but iw ant 2 get my career sorted out first. I want my own place an most important of all I wana make sure I have enough money and I dont struggle.my best mate has a child, hu has just turned 1 shes 18 an she sais she misses her freedom but she loves her dauhter with all her heart but she misses going clubin and going 2 pubs, an its very rare she has a babysiter, shes split up wit her man an the babys dad hardly sees her daughter, wouldnt you like 2 get your lfie sorted first? have fun your only 15 I think it wud b wise 2 wait until you r in a stable relationship, and 1 thing that annoys me the most! where I live you gota b pregnant at 12 and pushing a pram at 13 2 fit in where I live, becasue there so young they use there baby as an acessory, like its some kind of fashion toy! AN BABYS ARE NO ACSESSORY!!

well.. what about your freind does the father have any say in the childs life? or have they got him out of the picture…? if you wanty a baby you ask your parents and ask the “father-to-be” if there is a father to be you need to be sure about the father… is he going to stick areound or is he using you… you need to think of these things… the best thing to do would be to have a good education.. start uni… go dating.. and find a man you truly truly love…then its the right time for marriage and a baby… live your life you dont want to stop going out with your friends just because they baby needs to be breast fed or wants to go to sleep… whats next yuou want to buy a house? I think you need to takr things a bit slower… but if your parents say yes and your 100% sure and the father is going to stick around then I say go for it… but also think you have about another 8 or 9 years to think about it so yeah its up to you:)

look, if you have a baby your whole life will change, and you will be sick of everything around you, I’ve seen my cousin suffering after having her baby cause she didn’t love the right guy, and he didn’t care about her, or the baby, he just wanted sex from her, now her daughter is left without a father, and a mother needs her housband in handeling her children, she’s a human, she has to relax after having her baby.. and in your case, you can’t have a baby unless your boyfriend will help you through it all, and your family will support you and give you what you need, and if your family doesn’t agree, then they have the right to not agree with you having a baby, having a baby is big resposibility, it’s not about taking care of the diapers and clothes, etc. it’s about the child when he’s growing, are you going to talk to him about life? are you going to tell him that you love him face to face? are you going to treat him right? are you going to make him feel comfertable around everyone? do you know how to teach him to stand up for hiself and fight for what he thinks is right? if you can do all that, then do it, life is getting harder, and having a baby isn’t easy, think about it first, think about it for ages if you had to, and don’t forget to think about the consequences, then decide wether you’ll have one or not, I hope you wait til’ you’re married.

My god girl slow down!!! Im 15 and my boyfirend is 17 and has a son who has about to turn 1. This is crazy there is not way you should have a child at 15 your body cant handle a baby. You have to think hard about this there is schooling you want a good job right? So you can provide for a child when you have one give it everything it needs. What about your social life at 15 you will need one that will go compleatly out the window once you have a child mine has and its not even my child! Yes it is rewarding but it is the hardest job ever at the end or the day your still a kid. I have seen what a baby at such a young age can do to someone. Just wait till you can give the baby what it needs you need to think about the child and what is best for it before you even think about getting pregnant. Settle down and find the right someone then have children then that when it will be all worth it SadiexxXx

I was 24 when I had my son and I thought I was completely ready. I thought I would be the best mom in the world but instead I got wammed with post partem depression, my boyfriend wanted nothing to do with the child, no one would offer me any help and I realized finally JUST how much work it is to be a parent. and it can also be miserably lonely at times when your friends are out partying and you never even hardly get a chance to breath. It looks not that hard when you are a teen & other parents kids seem fun & cute but trust me, when you are the one who must provide everything, food, diapers, baths, playtime, money for bills, etc. it leaves practically no time for yourself.

at 15 I remember how smart I was and Im sure you are too. I didnt want to listen to adults because I thought I would be different. however, you have to try to put yourself in the shoes of the adults who have experience. they arent trying to tell you how to live to be high mighty–but rather offering advice becuase they had to learn the hard way. Dont learn this way. Be smart and listen— wait to have a baby!!! So many things in life are waiting for you to realize your true potential. The second you get pregnant then your life becomes second to your child’s.

find your talents and realize they are gifts!!

just my two cents.

Grow up, get married then think of a child. There’s plenty of time for that later. Enjoy your youth while you have it.

Okay I got pregnant at 17, I thought it was going to be so easy !! But it was anything but easy, I was lucky I had the babys dad to help me out. Dont get me wrong I love my son so much, but if I could’ve went back in time I would’ve waited. So what I’m trying to say is if I were you I would wait having a baby is not worth it especially at your age.

bbe your young and you have yje rest of your life to live but my sisters 19 and she even finding it hard and you will aswell, its not easy having kids but the easyest thing is about having kids is having sex and afta that things get diffuclt

having a child is a big responsibility so you shud think about it carefully. I wud advise you to sort ure life out so you can provide for the baby. you are so young and can have a child in a few years time when ure more ready..don’t wish ure teenage years away..thers plenty of time, please don’t rush into anything.

I say watch some baby shows, babysit a few little kids like toddlers or infants, then see what you think about a baby, I think maybe you should waite a few more years, sorry. But let me know what you think?

bbe your young and you have yje rest of your life to live but my sisters 19 and she even finding it hard and you will aswell, its not easy having kids but the easyest thing is about having kids is having sex and afta that things get diffuclt

I got pregnant at 19 and though that I could do this because the father and I were going to stay together and be a family. Well he was gone before my son was two and now my son is now almost 18 and is presently in juvenile detention. I could go on about what led him there but my point to you is wait until you are married and managing your life well because all children need a stable, nurturing environment. If you are feeling such a strong urge to have something that will count on you, will want and also give unconditional love and attention, get the most adorable puppy you can find. I am not talking down to you, I am serious. You want to compare yourself to an adult and what adults do - there are tons of adults who want a child but know they are not quite ready to be parents so guess what they often do - get puppies!

I wanted a baby SOO much when I was a teen too. A baby that I could love and the baby would love me back…blah blah blah. Thank God I waited! I am 23 now and have one daughter who is 8 months old. I love her with all my heart! But let me tell you, there are still times when I miss my freedom, the freedom to just get up and go somewhere without having to pack her up and the freedom to do anything that I wanted- to sleep in or whatever. Everything I do now revolves around her.
You should enjoy the time that you have to yourself instead of making such a life changing decision so early. I’m not knocking the girls that are young with babies. I’m just saying if you’re thinking enough to make the choice to do it or not, you shouldn’t.

you can’t have a baby and just freeload off your parents. that baby is YOUR responsibility, so YOU’RE the one who’s going to have to drop out of school and get YOUR own job so support YOUR baby. who cares if you wanted a baby for so long, guess what I’ve wanted a dog for a long time too, but I still don’t have one. I’m not going to be selfish and just go out and buy one and expect my family to take care of it while my fatass does whatever. you seriously need a lot of growing up to do little girl.

Previous to this question, you asked how to shrink your hips and rib cage…now you THINK you want a baby!?!

Think of it this way, when you’re pregnant, first your rib cage expands so that everything inside can shift upwards to make room for the baby growing inside of you. Then as pregnancy progresses, your hips widen to prepare your body for delivery, finally in delivery your hips widen EVEN MORE so your baby can pass through a little easier…which still isn’t that easy!

Yes, after the baby is born, your ribs go back to normal, but as for your hips, lets just say they don’t. At least not for everybody.

I just thought this idea may change your mind! Think about it and then reconsider what it is you REALLY ‘want.’

most of the time with situations there really isnt much of a difference between adults in teens in a matter of responsibility and such, but I strongly recommend you at least wait until your out of high school. everyone needs education if you want to have a good life and be proud of yourself and have your children be proud of you. being a teen mother no matter how much support you have is a hard task. you should really wait until you finish high school, find someone you love and want to be with for the rest of your life, get married, be stable, and then maybe have a baby. its really the best plan for yourself, family, and future children.

The fact that you used an argument of unfairness in order to have a baby, and that you said “my family” can pay for everything…you’re not at the level of maturity to raise another human. What happens after you have the kid? It isn’t just handing her/him over to your parents for the day while you hang out with your friends. And in the middle of the night, when it’s crying and you’re tired, there’s no calling your mom. I’m not saying you shouldn’t, necessarily, but…it doesn’t seem like it to me.

Well…all I can say is, you really aren’t mature enough to have one. Would you want that child to grow up without their father like I did? I’m telling you…my mother went through hell raising me, being a single parent. Do you REALLY want that for yourself- AND YOUR CHILD?! No 15 year old guy is going to stick around for a baby- I guarentee it. I may be wrong, but the vast majority of kids our age will NOT. And your family…don’t assume they’d be happy about this. You still rely on them yourself, and a child would be YOUR responsibility, not theirs. It’s harder than you’d think!

hahaha it sounds like your want something like a puppy. wow. ummm I’d honestly rather have a puppy then a baby but if you really want a baby then ask your parents. but for u … if your still in school…that would be really difficult. why dont you ask your parents to have a kid so that u’ll have a sis/bro to take care of instead? because having a baby gets so boring after a while that it would be a shame. like getting bored of a pet…except its not an animal. yeah but its totally your parents and your decision.

it takes more than just loving a baby to keep it alive.. how are you going to feed it? where is the father? how are you going to pay for health insurance? what if something is wrong with your baby, can you handle extra difficulties and expenses? what are your parents going to say? what are you going to do about school? I think that you should really hold off for a couple years your not ready!

So you want a child at someone else’s expense, and you’re still a child yourself.

Sounds like you need a LOT more help than anyone here can give you. You talk about a baby as if its some kind of novelty item.

When my daughter was 15 she said she wanted a horse. I said NO. She’s 25 now and still doesn’t have a horse. but she’s pregnant. And happy. And she is completely financially stable.

And also your not an adult love, so why you saying adults do this and that. Maybe thats because there old enough to do it!! lol

NOOO !! your only 15 focus on school, and more important stuff .. your too young to think about having a baby !!

Best Plan: education, ring, date, marriage, get financially stable, then baby.

YOU ARE SO IMATURE & NAIVE AT 15 !!! why dont you live your childhood as everyone else ???

Wow…If you want one then have sex with someone at your age…

NOO! How are you going to support a baby when you are a kid stilll?

haha wow, what has this world come to?

no go to wal mart and just by a baby doll

go have 1 then

haha

Having a baby isnt a game ^o)