Why is the girl I love acting so different?

I met her 2 yrs ago but been together for 17 days but still we hit it off. I try to show her all the love I can. I bring her flowers an kiss her and do all that but sometimes when i go to hold her she walks away from me. I think that i might be crowding her but how can i tell an another thing this dude she was wit for 4 yrs is in jail now but is her brothers best friend an has been asking bout her he has been asking her to write him now. I don’t know if she is. She says she aint but she still has pics of him and her kissing and shit. Should i be worried? One more thing we never really argued but thats because when it starts i leave and take a walk but sometimes i wonder if she wants to argue like she wants me to swing at her or something. i need advice big time on this one

Answer #1

And seriously….please spell in proper English. It’s really an immature thing to do and you are dealing with very adult things. It’s time to mature a little.

Answer #2

thats so true this girl isnt ready for a relationship shes still hung up on her ex and untill she gets him outa her life shes not gonna love u

Answer #3

This is all happening to soon for you, you have only been with her for nearly 3 weeks, she may be feeling a little smothered by you with all the affection and needs a break every now and then, but it does sound to me like she still has feelings for her ex and that she isnt planning on completely moving on from him if she still has fotos of them and so on. You need to take a step back becos you may risk getting very hurt if she decides to leave. Take it a day at a time and dont smother her with so much affection until you know she wants to be only yours and shows you some in return.

Answer #4

you can tell if a girl like you or not. we look into your eyes, say how much we love you and hug you and kiss you, etc. you can tell if a girl loves you. maybe she’s with you because she needs to get her mind off of that duude in jail. but if you really REALLY LOVE HER, and know for sure she’s the one, you should let her know how you feel. be like “listen i love you alot but i want you for myself, if your not over that dude i understand but i want you. and he’s in jail, i can love you because im here for you. im not just a letter or picture”

Answer #5

First, stop buying her gifts and spoiling her. Sure, now and then a little something, but this girl has a long way to go until she is giving you the proper love and respect to earn gifts and so much attention. Remember this: a woman must EARN her gifts. Being a good woman to a man is how to do it. Keeping vulgar pictures up of her making out with an abusive jailbird four-flushing loser earns her flowers and gifts from you? Come on, man, stand up and be counted here. You are thinking with your little fella down there and you know it. She knows it, too.

Any man can come along and spoil her and give her what she wants, she knows that. Therefore, you are nothing “special” to her. This a-hole in jail is, though. Why? Let’s explore that.

She is a girl who is perpetuating a cycle of abuse. It would be great if you could love her enough to make her realize that an abusive man is only going to hurt or kill her. But that will probably take years and years and you may very well not be the man to bring her out of it. Accept that now, before going any further. Think about that for a minute and accept it….. you may not be the man to bring her out of it right now. Accept that? Good, let’s move on.

Here is your question: Why do some girls fantasize abuot some abusive jerk in jail while they have Prince Charming ready to rush them off into the sunset? Because she has problems with intimacy. They can’t handle real intimacy that is gentle, sweet, kind, giving, and loving. Why? Because she probably only had the abusive kind, and that is all she knows. A kind and loving man is new and different and ultimately–scarier for her because she doesn’t belive it really exists. The girl needs therapy and someone around her telling her this. She has no idea what she is doing or why. She just knows she wants severe, intense love and she only knows how to get it through dangerous men.

Here’s what you really need to do–and it would be an exercise in great self control and maturity if you can do it. You need to pull back the romantic, physical part of your relationship with her. This will make you very powerful to her and will get her attention. But do not do it without telling her why–do not play games and do not keep anything a mystery. To her, her body is her ultimate tool of power and you are useless to fight it. Show her differently. Show her that your concern for her addiction to an abusive loser in jail worries you so much that you are willing to stop being with her in a romantic and physical sense. You are not able to trust this woman, therefore there is no logical reason to continue on giving your heart to her freely. She must earn that. Once she feels that, she might actually find a value in it and work to earn it.

Now, I suggest that this is the reason that you break up with this girl. There are girls out there that do not go out with bad guys, that don’t need years of therapy just in order to understand that guys+hitting/abuse/jail = WRONG.

She needs to experience loss and consequences for her decision to hang onto a crummy guy. She needs to lose a good guy.

Plus, you know you could spend all this time trying to help her and help her an be there for her and be her friend, but I would go to her mother or sister, or whomever is in her life that she trusts and listens to, tell them the situation and get back to being a young man who is a good man looking for a good woman.

I know how you guys are when you’re in love with a bad woman. You won’t let go no matter what and end up calling her names and hating her and drinking yourself into a stupor for six months and hating women when you finally get it through your head two years later that the dude in jail holds more value to her than you ever did and then you avoid women and relationsihps and become a woman hater. Do yourself and any woman who will have an interest in your in the next five years: detach yourself and find another woman. And if there are pictures of her shoving her tongue down another man’s throat taped to her mirror with hearts around it, RUN FOR THE HILLS. Keep on going until you find a woman ready to love you the way that you love.

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