I'm so depressed right now and disgusted with myself. I have been dating this guy for a long time and we broke up about a half a year ago for a couple months. We had only ever been with each other because we think sex should be about love.
Well, I was so heart-broken during those months we were broken up and had rebound sex with someone. I'm stupid. It was unprotected sex with a player who has been with many women. I am so depressed because I always tried to value myself and all those years of saving myself was turned to sh** because of one stupid night. I cry all the time wishing I could take it back.
I am now back with my boyfriend, but I am too scared to have sex with him. I have gotten tested for everything except for Herpes and HPV. You can't test for those right? I don't want to pass something on to my boyfriend because of a stupid mistake. It has been 8 months since that one-night-stand and I haven't showed any symptoms, but I'm still scared.
If I have HPV, it could be a high-risk one and I could give my boyfriend health problems or even cancer. I could give myself cancer. I am watching my uncle die because of a bad life decision he made: smoking. But that was an every day decision he made. I have made good decision my whole life and now I have made one bad decision that could cause so many problems for me. I don't want to find out years ahead of me that I have an abnormal pap smear and have cervical cancer. I cannot live my life wondering and wondering. I don't want to put my husband at a risk. I don't want to put my baby at risk when I get pregnant someday.
It's just sooo depressing that I made this bad decision...
Is there any way I can know if I have these????
The only way to know is to get tested. Get tested once every three months, just in case. Dont put your self down. Everyone makes mistakes. If you dont want to give your boyfriend a disease (If you have one) I would suggest using a condom. Make him wear one. No condom, no sex. Please dont put yourself down! I have made plenty of mistakes, and I am sure everyone else here has. :)
You can get tested for both of those. Go straight to the doctor and get a blood test. It's not the end of the world, don't think of yourself as "damaged goods" because of a one night stand. You're probably just freaking yourself out. Just make sure you're honest with your boyfriend. Good luck to you.
Thank you <3