How to do I stop putting myself down so much?

O.k whenever bad things happen or I get a bad grade or don’t do something perfect,(Perfectionest)the first thing that pops in my mind is “Wow I am stupid,I can’t even do this right!” I try to pull myself back up,but it doesn’t help.(I tried everything in the book.)Teachers say I am smart but I think “Oh really?Well if I am so smart,why do I,a 14 year old girl have an iq of 122?!” I try to write all the things that are good in me,I can’t think of any.It sounds stupid,but I don’t know what else to do.Help?Thx!Ally;)Mood:Desperate and confused.

Answer #1

why do I,a 14 year old girl have an iq of 122

uhm, it’s the 93 percentile, that’s way above average, so not entirely sure what you’re complaining about?

Well it’s a habit. You know what they say about habits, it takes a few weeks to break them. Honestly I’d suggest a therapist, but if you really will not go see one, consider reading a book called learned optimism by martin seligman, it has a couple of tips. There’s this exercise we did, but I mean it really only worked because I was put on the spot and had to answer, but hey, you can try it and see if it works. The visiting psychologist asked us to imagine someone we loved and who loved us, someone who thought we were great and wonderful. Now, you go sit in a different chair and try to be that person. Sit like they would. Try to get into that mindset. Now, why does that person love you. Why does that person think you’re great. Why does that person believe you’re great to be around. Now list down those qualities. It’s not the same thing asking someone else as it is saying it yourself, because hearing compliments from others doesnt mean much unless you believe it. When you say it out loud, you kinda have to believe it. I still think you should consider therapy. This is simply one of a thousand techniques that therapy would help you work with. Oh and when you write down those things, put them on notecards and stick one to your mirror each week. Read it out loud every time you see it. Try to believe it.

Answer #2

Have you tried meaby comparing yourself to other people. Like if you got a bad grade and the other kid got an even badder grade, and he seems, so just say then why should I not be fine with mine? Put yourselfs some goals, meaby say, I got a bad grade now, but I;m going to study and get a better grade next time and see how much I increase, even if you increase by one poin you know you did better this time.

Answer #3

I still struggle with that. My therapist says and it makes sence, Who do you hang around with. If you are with people that are very negetive andn put you down its only natural that how you going to feel about yourself. You hear it enough you believe it. Now if you stay with positive people who encourage and compliment you then you will see the diffference on how you feel about yourself. Its not you its them. Look in the mirror and tell yourself your A good person have a lot to offer and are very attreactive after a while you believe it.

Answer #4

Thank you so much!Keep them coming!Ally;)

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