More Parents & Family Questions

How do I tell Family/Friends I am joining the military?

I’m a 16 year-old Sophomore in High school who wants to join the Marine Corps. I’ve given this a lot of thought [well over 4 months] and I was wondering how to tell my friends and family. At first, I joked around with my friends about it, but now I’m serious. I don’t know how to tell my girlfriend of 14 months that I want to join.

I’m scared to tell her cause she might be upset. She and I love each other, but I don’t want that love to go. How do I tell her in a way that she will understand? This may sound stupid, but…Should I get her pregnant? Propose to marry her? Or will that just chase her away?

Also, how do I tell my family? I’m not American, but I live in the U.S. so this might upset them. Any advice s appreciated, thank you.

Become an Expert →

Answer #1

I am an active duty Marine and had a lot of the same questions going in, especially on the girlfriend part.

Basically with your family just talk to them on an honest level and do not be ashamed, let them know that you are doing it because it’s what you want and it’s for a positive change in your life.

As for friends just tell them it’s what you want because you want it and that should be enough, if anyone argues with you that’s their opinion and shouldn’t affect yours.

Now for the kicker, the girlfriend, basically with mine I first ran it by her saying things like what would you think if I joined the Marines?

Or jokingly saying things like don’t you think I would look sexy in that uniform when a Marines commercial would come on or something.

Then eventually telling her that I was putting serious thought into it and asking her how she honestly felt.

When I was talking to a recruiter I asked him to come to my house and talk with my parents about it with me, after all that’s what they get paid for, and I made sure my girlfriend was there too.

He basically knows exactly what to say to make it sound like it’s the best thing you could do, letting them know that you’ll be getting the best training, a steady paycheck with a lot of benefits, etc.

With my girl I basically let her know that she was the most important thing in my life and without her support I wouldn’t be able to make it, I was away from her for a good while but wrote constantly through boot, after called as often as I could, and spent most of my time home on leave with her.

About 6 months in I proposed to her while home on leave and about a year later we got married.

She has been amazingly supportive of me and my decision from the moment she realized I wasn’t joking around and cared about me enough to stay strong and continue to be loving and faithful, because of that it made my last deployment that much easier because she knows that it’s my calling and what I want to do and because she’s such an amazing woman she can handle it.

Now not every girl is the same obviously and though I know it sucks really bad there are a lot of Marine girlfriend’s and wives who just can’t handle it, if that’s the case remember it’s not the end of the world and there’s always hope.

As far as getting her pregnant you obviously seem to recognize that’s not a good idea, the same goes for getting married just for the sake of staying together.

Hopefully I’ve helped at least a little, Semper Fidelis bro and best of luck informing your loved ones on your decision.

Answer #2

Unless you want to be a grunt, I’d suggest you consider the Air Force. It offers you a better selection of opportunities. Plus, you fly everywhere.

I spent 4 years in the Marine Corps but would go Air Force if I had to do it again.

Welcome to Fun Advice!

i hope you do not take offense, To that that’s gone before; ’Tis only that it’s my two-cents, And not one penny more. §;o)

Answer #3

Tell them quickly. Its like a bandaid, it hurts less the quicker you do it. It will hurt you’re girlfriend but its you’re choice. My 18yr old boyfriend has just joind the Royal Air Force (I’m British) and I find it so hard because I know that I am going to miss him more than anything espeshially because I am pregnant. Don’t get her pregnant just to stay together. If it is ment to be she will wait for you. I know that even if I wasn’t pregnant I would still wait for him because I love him. Its hard to handle and at first it will be a shock but stay strong for her and for you’re family. If they think they are going to loose you it will make it so much harder for them to let go and not pressure you into changing your mind. A british newspaper called the Daily Telegrapgh last week published a picture and article about the militry. Its true for Britain and I believe its true for the USA look it up. Its difficult for all military families. I miss so many people who have joined up in England. 6 months is a long time to be away from your family. Think about it and Good Luck x

Answer #4

no honey she wont get upset, its actually really good you want to join the military. I also am a sophomore in high school and I am 16. but take my opinion, if you want to tell her don’t keep it in any longer.

Answer #5

Yeah…it’s kind of selfish to ask her to wait how many years for you to get out of your term.

And get her pregnant…so…she can deal with all of that while you’re away, pregnancy, kid and all? No…bad idea.

You aren’t marrying her to marry her you’re marrying her to keep her. That’s not a great marriage-starter.

If you want to join the service then you should break up with your girlfriend (if she DOESN’T agree with your decisions, and only if she doesn’t).

No offense but friends probably won’t care that much. Not as much as your girlfriend or family will. I wouldn’t really worry about them.

And also…a lot changes in 2 years. So figure out what you really want, and figure it out soon so you can tell the appropriate parties the new situation.

Answer #6

How do I tell her? I can’t find a “right” way to tell her. I lose sleep, just to stay up thinking about this and her. The thing that scares me is not coming back alive to continue my life with her. But I really want to do this.

My friends they just make fun of me for wanting to join. They think I’ll get shot in an instant. But, my girlfriend, I support her all the way for her dreams. She wants to be a doctor, and I told her, “I support you, but know that you can’t save everyone. People die.” After that, she got pissed and ignored me for 3 days. She told me that I ruined her dreams.

Pregnancy? Yeah, I couldn’t. I want to be there for when that happens. What should I do? I haven’t slept yet, and the sun’s already up, she gets up in 3 hours. Should I call her and tell her or go over and say it?

Answer #7

Be honest/up front and tell your girlfriend and family about your dream - you’d be doing something very honorable, they’ll probably be supportive and proud - it’ll make you a man with a bright future - my experience, the Air Force is great also, sharp troops and less ‘up front’ in danger areas…I wish you the best !!

Happy Easter !! http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=b6d8b4a2b495d59e3874&utm_source= newsletter410&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=weeklyvideos

Answer #8

I do plan to either become a grunt [Machine Gunner or Rifleman] or Linguistics. I didn’t consider the AF because I hate heights. I can’t stand planes, and I’ve been in them before. It’s the fear of falling I guess.

How do I tell Family/Friends I am joining the military?

Parents & Family

Cominos Family Lawyers

The Perfect Condo For Your Fa...

Berkson Family Law

Maples Family Law

Patriot Conceptions