how do I reason with smothering parents?

hey everyone..I am 17 years old and I have been dealing with a huge problem since I entered the tough world of puberty! I unfortunately have parents that I can not communicate with because of their lack of understanding people that are still young.. I do not want to sound like a spoiled little kid who is mad cause she disnt get what she wanted..but I have to say that almost EVERYTHING I ask for is never given to me. my parents are too overprotective and because they are worried about me doing things that are unethical(which is one of the most importnat things there is to them), they forbid me from doing anything that could possibly lead me to the wrong direction. one of the most important reasons is I believe my boyfriend. I have to add that he is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and what we share is quite serious. we have been together for 2 years now and we have a very close communicating and loving relationship. he respects the fact that I cant do as much as other girlfriends do and he has never pushed me to do anything. my mom has found out however that he drinks and that he took marijuana once and therefore does not approve. when I told him that, he quit everything completely but my mom still talks about him as if he is such a bad influence on me. I am not allowed to see him alone anywhere and I am certainly not allowed to go to his house or have him over. our relationship is basically what he have over the phone which is not enough since we are missing precious time of being together. I am not even considering having sex because my mom threatens me that she will take me to a doctor if she suspects anything and if she finds out we will move. can she even do that?? I mean can she actually violate my body by taking me to a doctor to check if im a virgin or not? basically the three things that I can not do are: Have a sexual relationship with my boyfriend, take drugs or drink alcohol. the thing that seems so unfair to me is the fact that I do nothing of those three things! I do not have sex and yet I am not aloud to see my boyfriend, I do not drink but I cant go chill at a bar with some people, and I do not do drugs but I cant go to clubs because there are people who do them there..and I AM ALMOST 18!! I mean the law allows me to go and my parents wont for no reason! how can I make them understand that I need to have a life and that it doesnt mean that ill get myself involved in these three things. even if someone pushes me to do something im a big girl and I can say no..its happened to me tons of times before so I know that I can take care of myself. how can I make them understand that if they care ab out me they cant only worry about my health, my studies and my ethics. they have to care about how it makes me feel that I have no friends anymore because I cant go out enough. or about tyhe fact that we always fight and never seem to be able to communicate. there are tons more to say about how they treat me..all the contolling and the swearing that they do and the threats that I have to put up with everytime I ask for something. they are threatening to not pay for my college unless I obey the rules! what they dont get is that I DO obey them because I dont do anything!! by asking to go to a club once im 18 doesnt mean that im asking to have sex or drink a lot or smoke even though others do that! please help me theyre actgually smothering me and I dont know how much longer I can take it.. there is no reason for this extreme pressure and I need themn to understand it somehow! thanks for reading this