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How do I ignore my mom?

I am 19 and I have a brother 7 years younger than me. Since then she has compaired us and basically thinks he is the angel child (he’s not old enough to start makng istakes). She blames my dad’s drinking on me, and I guess their marraige too which is on the rocks. I can’t even remeber the last time the slept in the same room. My mother also has nothing good to say about my relationship with my fiance or about him in general until I confront her about her negative comments. I attend a Christian University and plan on starting councling when I return next week. I cannot stay with them next summer, I belive I have entered a depressed state. I never want to do anything, I can’t sleep, and I have gained 25 pounds in the past 6 months. How can her comments affect me so drastically? What should I do?

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Answer #1

I am getting the same thing as well. but I have learnt that mums tend to do that because they can’t accept their own mistakes. they don’t want to. so they blame it on the person who’s closest to them…which is, unfortunately, the eldest ones like us. don’t take the things she says seriously because she doesn’t mean them. she doesn’t mean to blame you but she’s lost and she needs help. if you feel like you’re not strong enough to help her out of her depression then save yourself first. just believe that it is not your fault. your dad’s drinking problem has got NOTHING to do with you and you shouldn’t have to feel responsible for that. and their marriage is definitely NOT about you. it’s their problem that they have to sort out. it’s between them. you’re not ruining it for them. each time she says something hurtful and blaming you again..just say to yourself that she’s not strong enough to admit her own faults. and she probably sees that you and your fiance are very much in love and are in a good relationship that she wishes she had…so she’s jealous that you’re happier because she must be miserable about her marriage failing.

I really hope you don’t think you are to blame for all the things she accuses you of. don’t let her convince you that you are either. =D

Answer #2

lol your sorta like me but im not compared to my bro im compared to my twin sister and in my parents eyes im a the bad child its so annoying a depressing random people compare my weight personality and looks to my sister when im my own person and shouldnt have to be like her

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